Love.The.Sinner.Not.The.Sin

other voices other room

2007-01-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

other voices, other rooms.

takes etched in bold and hard black pencil.

-when plain papers meet pen.

i appreciate the moments.
i appreciate the touch.
most important of all,
i admire your thoughts.
I will remember.

song in mind- Amie, Damien Rice.

its a break.

2007-01-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

so easy how we come undone.

honestly for today's entry, my mind is plagued with questions that are just bugging to be either solved or answered. loads of stuff happened to me this week, and its only the first week of 'glorious' 2007. *give me a break! i for once, just feel like washing my hands off of all problems that doesn't pertain to me but being one who has a heart on its shoulder, *not literally please, just can't help it but to plunge into it. why?

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from A to where you'd 'B'
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My fingers in creases of distant dark places.

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've felt so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science.

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me.

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms.

After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep it.

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms.

song in mind- Set The Fire To The Third Bar, Snow Patrol.

pretty good years ahead.

2006-12-28T14:14:00.000+08:00

pretty good years ahead.

i'm going to dedicate this entry solely and soul-ly to my favourite topic; random. also other related or used as; random-ness; random-ity or the ever so colloquial, so random sia! its the result of doing babysitting for three days straight. yes, yours truly had to place his ass at home and watch his little brother parade around the house, while uplifting his big brother's notes and books, during my block leave. i'd like to curse and swear mother nature, sorry dudette, for letting me down this WET december. probably, my smart mum figured out that since it has been raining the whole past month, my son wouldn't have the chance to step out of this house, he calls it hell, to do his swimming, to the gym, running or even going out with his pals. *you scheming crafty mum!* hello mum i'm dying trapped in this four paneled shelter. i feel that i'm getting bigger. no,
not the, imakidandi'mgettingbigger nonsense, but more of im pumping more and more cellulite into me body.

body to dean: *see la, stay at home some more!
dean to body: (in my defense) i wanted to go out and swim this past three days but it has been raining non stop. which idiot swims when it rains??
body to dean: *excuses!!
dean to body: *roll eyes.

one day i need to tape up my whole body conscious. (if there is ever one) its getting out of hand. i might turn out to be the extreme version of joan of arcadia. go figure.

oh Hercules s/o Zeus (s/o reads as son of), how the 7 levels of hell can i get your type of body?? being blessed with a well function body is already a blessing. and to make your body look more toned, ripped, hercules-ish and appealing just means that you take pride with the gift god gave. after going through BMT (basic military training), my body was fortunate to have shaped itself into what you guys might have seen or peeked. anyway, my main qualm is on how to maintain it and taking it a step further. no no i'm not aiming for bodybuilder Simon Chua's standard, but one with symmetrical torso, slight peek of abs, broad shoulders, tone legs and defined biceps and deltoids. so please hercules, enlighten me! thats the fortunate part i received from going through fun and vigour in BMT. the unfortunate part that i 'attained" was my acne cum pimple attack on my face. once in a while, when i meet up with my jc pals along the street or even my juniors in school, they always unleashed out this question; "what happened to your face?" my reaction; *speechless. Oh Diana, goddess of moon, tell me the secrets of not making my face look like the heavenly body you reside. *ok dean you've just made yourself sound like himbo, or a bimbo.fortunately, the problem has ease itself. washing my face three times a day and drinking plenty of water doesn't seem to help that much. oh well its time for me to pay a visit to the nearby friendly almost too perfect dermatologists. and yes, let me emphasise on the 'pay' part. can smell my moolahs getting burn. hope it gets better soon. i think its human nature, if i can call, for an individual to want to look good in the eyes of the public. looking good is such a serious business that to certain individuals, it reflects upon their self esteem. ok citizens of planet earth, lets strive for a healthier body and a higher self esteem. OPRAH!!

speaking of looking your best, i need couple of stuff.
1) dark grey pants
2) new pair of dumbells (*emphasize on the word PAIR, at the mean time i only have one side)
3) ear piece for my mp3 player.
Santa didn't appear. =(

a brand new year is drawing soon. let us do the norm, tilt our heads down and wish for a better year ahead. i have not even scheme my 2007 goals. all that is in my mind now is 2008; ORD!

ok, another aimless, thoughtless entry.

*taking a glorious bite out of the whole world.

song in mind- You Could Be Happy, Snow Patrol.

christmas sock.

2006-12-25T21:51:00.000+08:00

christmas sock.

If only Santa could fit you into my christmas sock.

let us deviate for a moment, and talk about tarot. now now, i'm not a big fan of tarot cards or an acute believer of such future telling methods. but i was intrigued by its "ohsoalmostneartoperfect" readings that my friends got after plunging into the tarot card reading thingy. so here is mine.. oh and remember, if the house matriarch finds this out, she would slaughter me like a chicken. here it is..

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

ok back to blogging, proper! Merry Christmas everyone. i was across the causeway and thank god special people carved a smile on my face. god bless technology for being able to bring friends closer to your side.

jaryl (J): Im in town, and its hell!! Im not gg midnite mass, so no fun! Going 9pm mass at gd sheperd. And my ezlink dah rosak. stupid hols. haha

dean (D): don't speak of such taboos! God's grace will shine and bless you with his love! (*or so i remember la. i deleted all the msgs in my outbox!) now let me hear an amen! *amen!

J: ur mad! Mad i tell u! My mum caught me giggling to ur random msg! Ur da holiest non-christian catholic poser in singaboar/msia. let me hear u say HALLELUJAH!

gee jaryl, thanks. haha if you were to put both of us in a church, hell would break loose. yes, a paradox but its the truth. amen to that! *amen merry christmas jaryl! oh and please remind me bout your gift! keep on for getting about it.

-If only Santa could fit you into my christmas sock.

and to the person who sent me the above message, thank you very much. euphoria is everywhere because it likes you. and to be with you is pure fun.

Spread the joy of christmas people! let the spirit of generosity, care, sharing, respect and most importantly love to one another. pay it forward..

song in mind- Where Are You Christmas, Faith Hill.

blithest christmas.

2006-12-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

blithest christmas.

dear Santa (if you could me out even though we are miles apart, or if you exist in the the first place), i've been a good boy this year. an obedient, praiseworthy, simple, friendly, sweet, overly articulate and complaisant boy. thus, can i have a present/s? Give me!

1) ear piece, for my mp3.
2) pair of grey pants.
3) plain black tee.
4) a Nike shoe.
5) star shaped lamp.

ok, that should be enough. honestly, i just need no.s 1, 3 and 5. thanks Santa.

song in mind- Here In My Heart, Plus One.

fortuitous reunion

2006-12-22T10:01:00.000+08:00

fortuitous reunion.

goodness me, i had totally wasted my evening. made to seat down and watch a mediocre band perform. no, its not about the proficiency level of the band, however it was the freaking inconsiderate behaviour of the audience that spoiled my mood. oh well, i rest my case bout having a social screening on potential audience. i.e no mats! they are noisy and disgusting. if i had a cork in my hands, i would gladly shove all in their mouths!

ok, on a more positive note; i miss the old coral clan. the small bunch of guys and gals whom i got to know back when we were preparing Let's Get Loud '04. the new kids now are totally different from their predecessors. oh i met fairul since got knows when. i shall call him my own mr ithinki'mahimbobutactuallyabimbo. we gotta meet up dude! and shahid *if you are reading this, which i think he wouldn't* you and your audacious mindless nonsense are keeping you funny. glad to talk to you.
going out with jaryl later to grab some neck-ties. woohoo! happy moments here we come!

song in mind- Gabriel, Lamb.

2006-12-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

last minute outing.

once upon a fateful day, dean received an sms from his long lost (in time) friend, phat, during work. slowly as he decipher the content of the message, he soon realised that phat was bored and required a company, to be with her, to do a certain chore. recognizing the fact that she had no one to go out with, he kindly accept the offer. *ok that was all utter crap! back in reality. so phat and i met up at cck mrt station. as usual being the spokesperson of anti-punctuality, i fulfilled my role well. *oh give me a break, i was stuck in a meeting at the chevrons regarding the annual dinner and dance. oh yes, army do have dinner and dance programmes.* anyway, i met her in a jiffy, with the help of a taxi as usual. went straight to our shop hunt, for that illusive authorised dealer of singnet. oh our task, or actually, her task was to upgrade her internet plan and at the same time receive a free psp upon making the change. oh, why i mentioned hunt? its because, little miss i'vedonemyplanningbutofnouse left the address of the shop which she wrote on a piece of paper at home. *genius! finally after our dinner, we decided to crash down to one of the suspected shop for inquiries. few seconds later they made us go down to the basement, the place where hello shop was. there was a super long and enduring queue for the information counter. so being a typical singapore 'adrenaline pumping activity' lover, we followed the order. thank god some cheap thrills popped out when phat and i manipulated songs. that killed some time. by the time we neared the counter, i had the feeling that the next stage of the process after the info counter would be draggy. pushed that aside, phat was asked to extend the contract at home! on the net! urgh! but never mind, it all subside when we made our way to Ikea. *a rather impulsive decision. for once phat said that she was proud of me due to my street savvy-ness. *what ever phat, haha. indeed the place was sofa-liciously huge! we felt like a pair of lost factory workers. and no we didn't end our trip over at ikea with empty hands. yours truly bought some stuff that of use for christmas! *surprise la! anyway, we ended tonight's activity with a cone of soft creamy Scandinavian (*i hope so) ice cream and the fantastic duos of mr hot dog and soft drink avenger!

my end of the year block leave starts officially on thursday! hallelujah! i'm gg malaysia in the weekend. another of the matriarch's trying of hotel experience.

oh, and phat asked me to check out Plus One, a boyband. they had nice songs.
here in my heart.

last flight out.

song in mind- last flight out, plus one.

'face'-lifting

2006-12-18T11:47:00.000+08:00

heralding the new blog skin that i have chose. my reason for the change, it's getting boring. i guess i spoke on behalf of some people who claims so..

ok, this week my whole chassis, mind and what not on your body that could suggest fanaticism, is into Nelly Furtado. yes you heard me right. i've got swept away by her ingenuity and creativity. her songs had what i would call as emotion. something that listeners could relate to. above all, apart from the smooth beats and the infectious myvoicetriedtobreakfreebutfailed quality, her songs comes across as a human literary representation.

from my hands i could give you
something that i made
from my mouth i could sing you another brick that i laid
from my body i could show you a place god knows
you should know the space is holy
do you really want to go?

went out to watch Jack and the Bean sprout on sunday. totally hilarious. a panto that was really worth the money. oh did i mention a lady that sat three seat away from me started to give out Hershey's Kisses before the panto started. merry xmas aunty! not to mention she was a pinoy. *guess i looked pinoy on sunday. oh well, the only reason why i really enjoyed the panto was because of this three elements. 1) the panto was full of puns! eg. Goose Mangat, and 'Hold my jugs for me?' 2) the script was well thought off and the props were amazing! and lastly 3) my panto partner whom i went to watch with. So jaryl! go watch it!

from my hands i could give you
something that i made
from my mouth i could sing you another brick that i laid
from my body i could show you a place god knows
you should know the space is holy
do you really want to go?

I knew something was wrong after the panto. i wanted to ask but i just didn't want to sound tactless. my reason, not wanting to be the mouse that tried to fix the pumpkin. i wanted to give u a hug; and you wanted me to give you a hug. but time and place didn't permit.. take care.

say it right

till the next entry!

there were only stars above us

2006-11-22T18:45:00.000+08:00

Romance, who loves to nod and sing,
With drowsy head and folded wing,
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake,
To me a painted paroquet
Hath been- a most familiar bird-
Taught me my alphabet to say-
To lisp my very earliest word
While in the wild wood I did lie,
A child- with a most knowing eye.

Of late, eternal Condor years
So shake the very Heaven on high
With tumult as they thunder by,
I have no time for idle cares
Through gazing on the unquiet sky.
And when an hour with calmer wings
Its down upon my spirit flings-
That little time with lyre and rhyme
To while away- forbidden things!
My heart would feel to be a crime
Unless it trembled with the strings.
-Edgar Allan Poe

AMIDST THE LIGHTED TREES

2006-11-14T16:43:00.000+08:00

i've found someone who makes me smile even more. im still quite unclear bout our future path but im enjoying every second of it. that night really brought out the different person in me.

a walk to remember

2006-11-07T12:40:00.000+08:00

different people have different methods of getting issues that are bugging out of their minds. it has been ages since i had a lonesome walk around my estate. it would have been better, with the presence of someone, if it took place by the beach. at ease, unflappable, cool. a lot of stuff were going through my mind, which had the best of me. too much, to a point where it made me questioned who i was. while i was walking, i stopped for a moment. a sudden jerk to stop. its happening to me again. confusion has struck me. i cant move my legs forward for i know that to do so, my mind have to be flowing. haha sounds dramatic right? anyway, i finally got that hindering thought outta my mind and went home, which was around 4. the bad thing was, the dew had made me bit sick. i think so.

the weekend was packed with numerous activities. on friday, i had a small hari raya gathering at amirah's grill, the same place where skyy treated us on his bday. i had a blast, not to mentioned we, farhan, khairul and me, were the co-organizers. the effort put into it had really paid off when we see smiles on the faces of our guests. mission accomplished. *pat on our backs.a big thanks to azre for assisting us. girl u rock! haha. on saturday, i went back westwood for the first time in my life ever since i entered ns. and the reaction when my ex art teacher saw me was; ' you look hot! ' is she kidding me? guess her eyes had some infection when she observed me. on sunday, it was going to be my first change of guards, COG, at the Istana. its goes like this; your band either would do the role of the main band that parades down orchard road, or the support band that escorts the old guards outta istana. my band did the main role. in a situation such like this, all you would ever wish for are clear late afternoon skies. the ideal weather to parade down orchard. well, seems that luck wasn't by our side for that day. it started to pour by the time when we were done with the half of the programme. my mood totally swinged the opposite, knowing that my first COG experience was all of rain and half fuck paid off perseverance. talk bout a packed weekend. but it was valuable.

high

2006-10-30T00:08:00.000+08:00

ok, did someone really spiked my bandung drink? surrender for the love of god.

anyway, the four days of holidays were partly fun and disappionting. ok, i dont know if this is weird but it is fun bitching to yourself bout your cousins. 1) no one would listen to you. 2) makes u feel good. 3) why on earth would you wanna shout out to the whole world what you've bitched?
ok its kinda terrible to be a malay, im not saying that im not proud of my own race, language, skin colour, yada yada bla blala, ok you have got the picture. honestly, i dont know why they have to start off a conversation with this question; ite? poly? excuse, let me serve justice for my own people for a moment. not all malay kids stop their education phase at poly or ite levels. malays have been consistently proving that stigma.

oh well hari raya was fun but, i no longer get green packets. haha

YOU MEAN?..

2006-10-23T23:43:00.000+08:00

ok, id be spending my first day of hari raya over at the hospital. trying not to make a joyous occassion morbid. guess diabetes had gotten the best of her spirit. hopefully aunt can return home soon.

i personally hate gg shopping with my mom due to a couple of reasons. she a S L O W shopper. world comes to a still when she hunts for her stuff. secondly, is is the epitome of indecisiveness. first you'be be looking at 1 and slowly permutates to 10 of the same thing. mind boggling. and thirdly, we just dont see eye to eye with some stuff that she would like to purchase. dont ever make me go out with my mum to go and buy furnitures. it would turn out to be mini cat-fight. i would end up giving in to her coz she is my mum. all in all she cool to be a shopping buddy coz she provides the dough, and without those small arguments, there wouldn't be exchange of ideas. im learning more bout my mum each and everyday. dont mess with the ex-rafflesian. haha
so the outcome of the 5th trip to geylang serai; she forgot bout my footwear!
oh well whats new. gotta get it on my own.
ok that whole shizz happened on sun. so phat and i, yes both of us coz bulu is held hostage by the Hulk, went out to get accessories. well phat is such a last min shopper. met at causeway point despite the fact that i told my mum that i actually wanted to go to geylang. anyway, she was reluctant to go geylang due to its distance but in the end she complied. in the end she got into the geylang craze, think after she managed to get her stuff like half of the initial budget call. she got her handbag, i got my footwear; two happy shoppers, skipping around singing hari raya songs.

- time to seek forgiveness. i will try to do that this year.

randommoments :

MUSED

2006-10-20T20:42:00.000+08:00

Happy the people the Lord has chosen as his own. Eph 1:11-14 ; Lk 12:1-7
that line really struck a chord in my mind. ( right jaryl? haha )

i fancy books that challanges our thoughts. better still, when the contents aid us in further understanding ourselves better and the society that we coinhabit. im in love with The Alchemist.

each individual is unique. each with his/her own characteristics, discipline and principles. learnmore by reading.

ok seriously, an aimless entry. i wish i could talk more but it got jammed somewhere. go figure.

REUNIONS

2006-10-16T20:12:00.000+08:00

- Ring The Alarm, Beyonce.

boy, it was a weekend meant for reunions; friends and faith.
the initial plan was to meet up early to catch a movie. but someone, bulu, just had to hold us back coz her main priority was to catch her Prison Break. Hello? friends comes first! haha oh well thats bulu. try to catch the real run like me, can? oh so phat and i met earlier and we walked around orchard. was quite a while since we chatted, asking bout each other's life. how much it has evolved, yada yada and so on. she kept mentioning bout how if we werent fasting she would have dragged me into a restaurant. tsk tsk phat, we are fasting! finally we made our bumz to bugis to meet our resident, in-house lame clown bulu. the first thing i just had to comment was her PIMPLE! right smack on her nose. damn unglam girl. oh well its this quirkiness that i look forward in her that makes the day somewhat less mundane! out of this world! Suria-Raya carnival was such a let down, totally commercial! i prefer heading Geylang!
next week ah! we havent get our stuffs!

Sunday on the other hand was jaryl's reunion with the Maker. it all takes place at Church of St. Alphonsus a.k.a Novena Church. no we were not there for their infamous exorcism shizz but for jaryl to make a holy vow, hoping for good results. cant believe that a serence place like novena church had witness mind boggling turn of events. oh did i mentioned that i was mistaken as a PINOY! you see, they had this brochures in TAGALOG given out at the street side. so this lady came up to me and handed one flyer. hello! i wasnt going for the pinoy look! jaryl just had to laugh at me! thanks eh. to make the situationmore awkward, the church was filled with pinoys and migrant community making prayers. ah!
i had fun meeting our lady fatima. she is so divine.. hope my 10cents will bring luck and good fortune to jaryl. amen

fancy having exorcism here? see that guy in black? thats jaryl. suddenly got so pious. out of the blue.. haha

im reading The Alchemist now. deep books are my type!

eh btw, anyone can pass me contacts for dragonboating?

HORMAT SENJATA!

2006-10-13T18:12:00.000+08:00

its friday the 13th! which brings me to this question ;
is anyone here paraskevidekatriaphobic? ( dunno what's that? go figure yourself )

ok someone had complained to me that ive written something rubbish on my previous entry. haha lemme parish in silence ok? ok done. ive met spore's head of state today after dealing with the welcome guard of honour parade for the president of slovak republic. i was anticipating the roti prata stand, which was supposed to be set up by his presidency to show off his skills. my senior had told me that. so much of guidance..

anyway, im looking forward for the eventual reunion of the 3 of us, the usual suspects, phat and bulu. happiness away!

im feling kinda weird inside.. wth is happening? haze?

2006-10-11T18:28:00.000+08:00

it has been awhile.

well literally ages since i last blogged. loads of stuff happened right by me. wished i could blog bout it? but like my bloody comp has to go for servicing. bloody stewpid.

i swear im just wasting my time here. i have totally nothing to write about. another day perhaps? bleargh

note to self:
get bigger biceps. dragonboat?

THE SUNDAY ENTRY

2006-07-10T21:51:00.000+08:00

just like any other lazy Sunday, mine was kind of laid back and chilled. probably due to my mood on that day; emo-fied. ok ok, sue me for being emo but it aint stopping me. coz im, according to jaryl, an allowence bitch. wtf?! haha

so there i was in front of the computer screen surfing through the net, not knowing exactly where to head to. so i typed, youtube.com. a fast and quick form of entertainment for the lost and lonely souls. i wanted to check out some of the music videos of some songs that have been continuously ringing in my hallow head. unfortunately, none of them had proper music video. well at least they have footages of them performing live. happiness

at last i get to catch the tube in the late afternoon. watched Remembe the Titans. highly inspirational movie that twrilled aroundd the sensitive issue of racial dissintergation and highlights the spirit of tenacity with the game of american football as the setting. ive learnt that life can turn out as game. either ur sad from a defeat or happy once u achived something. whats definite is that it could happen together at the same time and you just have to bounce or continue through. if u feel lost, u can always turn to your steady group of frens by ur side, just like a team member to a team.

id like to quote a couple of songs that has struck my mind. gee sounds like ive been struck by lightning. ive been listening to these three songs alot; Life is Wonderful; jason mraz, Ever the Same; rob thomas and Beautiful Disaster; kelly clarkson. they are cool songs that brought a certain message across to the listeners. what makes these songs interesting is that they are composed or inspired from true events, thus listeners can relate too. for example, ever the same was composed by rob for his sick wife, whom at that point was going through treatment due to cancer.
-just let me hold you while you're falling apart. just let me hold you so we both fall down. fall on me. tell me everything you want me to be. forever with you forever in me, ever the same. we would stand in the wind. we were free like water, flowing down under the warmth of the sun. now it's cold and we're scared and we've both been shaken. Look at us man, this doesn't need to be the end.
to view the song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op6NkcoXhqs
ever felt that life is miserable? well bet i do most of the time. after listening to Life is Wonderful, would make u think again and realised that everything that happen are all chained and has a significance. a haunting song.
-it takes a thought to make a word and it takes a word to make an action it takes some work to make it work. it takes some good to make, it hurt it takes some bad for satisfaction. it takes no time to fall in love but it takes you years to know what love is. it takes some tears to make you trust, it takes some years to make it rust. it takes some dust to make it polished.
to view this song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIqmb-1q_XE
beautiful disaster is yet another song that listeners can relate to. its about insecurities of a girl with her guy. as much as she loves him, she has difficulties in opening up due to harsh events between them. why i can relate to this song? hmmm cant tell you, but definitely im growing out of it slowly.
-he drowns in his dreams. an exquisite extreme I know. he’s as damned as he seems and more heaven than a heart could hol.if I try to save him, my whole world could cave in. it just ain’t right. he's magic and myth, as strong as what I believe. a tragedy with more damage than a soul should see. and do I try to change him, so hard not to blame him. hold on tight.

i guess we shouldnt undermine the power of words. it evokes feelings that u would never though could happen. it humbles you and makes you realised that its more than what meets the eye. eh most of the songs that i hear of has got to do something with tragedy. i have loads of tragedies waiting to happen. maybe i should compose my own songs. right dean. i smell tragedy brewing..

- assumption is the mother of all failure. is it true? my ass.

HOW WONDERFUL

2006-07-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

guys, please be aware when you walk down the streets of your neighbourhood. for an unexpected force might just sweep youoff your feet and freak your mind out. the creatures called; men in bad wig or MIBW.

oh well, farhan and i spotted this uncles sitting just adjacent to us in the mrt today. i didnt find his appearance odd till our dear farhan spotted something off bout the uncle. he tapped me on my bag and told me to get closer. he whispered;

farhan: eh you that uncles didnt wear his wig proper.
dean: huh? which uncle? *started to scan around.
farhan: there, the one reading the papers.
dean: *broke into a loud laugh.
farhan: he should have place it properly. so obvious. *laugh too.
dean: i think he didnt comb his hair proper too. *continue laughing till J.E mrt station

on behalf of farhan, id like to thank the enigmatic uncle for making our train ride home livelier and comical. p.s, uncle pls get a more realistic wig. its a wig for god sake.

thanks lydia and mai for the treat. my turn soon. and as for farhana aka bulu, HAPPY BDAE! (eh why are you so old? haha) i cant go for the college annual ARTS DAY. coz i have NDP. good luck to all of the performers and to the drama mamas led by my very own fren lydia and her booboo, jgb**. haha

it takes a thought to make a word and it takes a word to make an action. it takes some work to make it work, it takes some good to make it hurt. it takes some bad for satisfaction. it takes no time to fall in love, but it takes you years to know what love is. it takes some tears to make you trust, it takes some years to make it rust. it takes some dust to make it polished. life is wonderful.

- i smiled the crooked sneer of resignation.

SOME KIND OF LUCK

2006-07-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

the italian hotdogs beat the german hotdogs. woohoo! it was a yummy game coz the italians made a surprise victory at the end. guess its true then, never give up till the end. good seniorita of luck was with them. where is mine?!

since i woke up early (to catch a glimpse of the italyvsgermany game), i thought i wouldnt be reporting late again to camp. so i made my way to meet farhan at lakeside mrt. lemme tell you something, dont ever ride the bus early in the morning. why? coz u will meet a very typical bunch of sporeans who would turn your day from good to bad. the bus that i board every morning to get to the mrt station has always have this problem; passengers not moving in. well the whole idea is so more passengers are able to board the bus to their respective destination. so there i was, in the middle of the bus and there was a bunch of uncles trying to squeeze through the crowd and board the bus. the crowd moved in a back as possible and still this roudy bunch of stewpid uncles were blamming us for not squeezing in. eh hello we are humans, not canned sardines. damn pissed i was. not to mentioned, at the next stop, a china man, tried to get into the bus from the back. he then tapped the card at the exit point. common sense tells us u cant do that.the whole bus had to halt there for 3 min so that the china man could weave his way up to the front where the tapping device was. argh. imboselic moron. moral of the story is; all passengers have role to play. if ur in the bus, plase move to the back to let others in. and if u cant get into the bus coz the ppl in there cant move in anymore, just shut ur gap and wait for another one. that hard to wait meh?! if ur late, come down earlier! nincompoops! haha

i think ive used up all of my good luck. this morning, while farhan and i were rushing into camp, i noticed that there was a security check going on. oh well, i thought nothing big would happened. most they would conduct a bag check. so one of the RP (regimental police) stopped me. i thought they stopped me due to my big crumpler. not knowing anything, they told me to take out my hp. i went shit! my phone has a built in cam. and then, farhan got off easily coz they stopped army personnels at random. lucky him. they even did a check on a leftenan's bag. so they took away my hp. to top it all of, i reported late for the second time due to the previous mess. what luck. grr

and today is my 4th tb checkup. so i got to go off early. hallelujah. got for myself more pills. pills (medicine to kill the tb virus) makes my world go round. *gee dean ur making urself sound like a drug addict.im getting use being punctured everytime on my arms to draw blood. i can even laugh when the nurse is drawing my blood out. haha i just wanna get home after that, sleep and study. im one small step to korea as my name get selected. i think im bit lucky over there. haha

thanks for making my life miserable. =)

THE BROKEN ROAD

2006-07-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

masked men in tight body hugging clothes. what do you get? a huge bunch of girls screaming and fantisizing bout them with their enigmatic superhero. girls will go beserk, therefore im not going to watch Superman. haha

i was darn bored this week. so i went on to youtube.com to catch funny clips that are able to tickle whats left of my funny-bones. before hand, jaryl had told me to catch a spoof of Oprah done by the madtv crew. four thumbs up (if i can find the other two thumbs) to the bitch who played both the roles of whitney houston and oprah. she is fucking hilarious and darn talented. BOBBY!

well, another rehearsal for ndp has just pass and im getting darker. wtf?! anyway, i saw ben reading this awfully thick book during one of the long breaks. upon asking what book he was reading, he replied chemistry. wtf?! boy, university starts only in 2008. thats like a long time to go. haha cant blame him though for his kiasu-ism. ive decided to make a conscious effort in getting aquainted with the academic realm. therefore, i got for myself new books to re-ignite my mind. hmm sounds like im burning my brains. anyway, i dont want to end up like one of my section sergeant.

sgt: eh dean come here.
dean: yes sgt. *suspicious feeling flowed.
sgt: (brought a book towards dean) eh what does vivaciously means?
dean: erm a strong passionate feeling? like enthusiastically.
sgt: eh simpler can?
dean: oh, all out for.
sgt: chey. i thought so too.
dean: *right

so in other words, i dont wanna be the himbo that enters f.a.s.s with nothing in my mind, totally brainwashed by time. haha my condolences to my sgt. hope he is able to complete his book.
this week, fortunately, we didnt get kfc for lunch during ndp. instead we got siamkitchen food. haha despite that, i feel like puking my food out coz i felt damn weird after eating two icecreams with rice combo. bad experience. now, i know who to blame when i got attack with food poisening.

just my luck, anyway, i guess its time for me to stop regretting bout getting transfered out if command school and landing in some place else. some stuff happens for a reason, all i can do now is to perform my best to contribute to the organization.

I set out on a narrow way many years ago. Hoping I would find true love along the broken road. But I got lost a time or two. Wiped my brow and kept pushing through. I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you. Every long lost dream lead me to where you are. Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars.Pointing me on my way into your loving arms. This much I know is true. That God blessed the broken road. That led me straight to you.

MANEATER

2006-06-29T22:46:00.000+08:00

well in the beginning, let me recall my first conversaton with my WSM, Wing Sergeant Major, last wed.

wsm: you look like a smart boy.
dean: yes encik. (sir in malay)
wsm: you have any ploblems (problems)?
dean: not at all encik.
wsm: you sure? family, monetaly (monetary) or girlfriend problems?
dean: *smiled
wsm: see i knew it. ur face ah, i can tell one.
dean: but encik, *interrupted
wsm: i look at you ah, very outspoken, girls surely go out to you rite?!
dean: (chuckling) no la encik. * gave the wtf?! face.

never in my whole life, well for the past 5 years or so of my teenage phase, has any girl come up to me and spill their drools over me. thank god that doesn't happen to me, coz if does, id just be anti-climatic and pass her a tissue paper. anyways, im not good looking too. seriously. haha pheeew!

i just came from devouring two McD burgers that my mom bought me for dinner. fast food dinner is not healthy i must agree but,i definitely love the double cheeseburger! im a big meat fan. gee dean you're making yourself sound like a glut. anyway, im struggling to keep up with my healthy eating and excersice regime due to SAF Day Parades and NDP rehearsals. usually when i reach home, id be dead flat im 30min on the couch while watching the tube. after that my dad would have to drag my body into my bedroom. i still have LOADS of theory to gain and these sudden sleep attack is not doing any good to me. oh well, from now onwards i shall place two toothpicks on either side of my eyes to make me wide awake. dean! no food after 8! who am I kidding?!

free food from NDP '06

has anyone told you or have u ever wonder how men can get very envious and individualistic bout some stuffs. well one day, when i was going for NDP rehearsal wit the Central band, one of my senior from the group spotted me wearing the identical bag as him.

senior: omg! he has the same bag as me! ewww
dean: *in my mind: wtf?!

hello lil' mr prissy senior, in case you have not noticed, bags are mass produced. therefore, there would be more than one on the streets. so OBVIOUSLY you would bump into another individual wearing the same bag as you! DUH! at that point, i wondered where his brains had gone to or was he not born with a brain. gee. i tell you, if i have known that he would buy that bag, i would definitely get a different bag. haha the most amazing shit was, when i saw him the next day for SAF Day Parade reh, he was with another bag wrapped around him. UNFORTUNATELY, the bag is UGLY. tsk tsk. i shpuld go up to him and ask him; how's life? terrible? i guess so too.

oh well, im gg for a swim tml, after which a fruitful intellectual session with my best pals. i love budget book hunt. haha. more strength training for me please! well tml is my off-in-lieu. * dun know wat the fuck that means. all i know that its an off day for me, coz the sat and sun would be burnt by SAF Day Parade '06 and NDP rehearsal respectively. hmm the best is yet to be..

before i end, id like to say something to my friend, whom i wish to keep its identity in secrecy. don't fall easily into love. give time. you know how this type of reationship works. you can never trust anyone of them; even so there are very few of them. all in all, i hope you would stop them from treating you like a floormat. amen (ok, anti-climatic)

happiness is an emotion i was born to this world without.

SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE

2006-06-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

during my funeral wake, please play for me these songs below, so as to appease my soul. besides it may provide entertainment for the guests.

1. Tainted Love - Marilyn Manson.

sometimes I feel
i've got to run away
i've got tog et away
from the pain you drive in the heart of me
the love we share seems to go nowhere
and I've lost my light for I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

2. Perfect - Simple Plan.

i can't pretend that
i'm alright
and you can't change me

3. Untitled - Simple Plan.

how could this happen to me
i made my mistakes
i’ve got no where to run

4. Shape - Sugababes

i've always played it safe nothing's ever safe
give me the courage to back my own convictions

5. Rhinoceros - Smashing Pumpkin

open your eyes
to these must I lie?

6. Petrified to be God-like - Susie Suh

you think you know me and you know me
but you dont know how scared I am

7. Candleburn - Dishwalla

tonight she'll give herself away
she'll break apart all by herself
its so easy how we come undone

8. Back At One - Brian Mcknight

you came and breathed new life into this loney heart of mine
you threw out the lifeline
just in the nick of time

9. Angels or Devils - Dishwalla

I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold .

10. Glycerine - Bush

we live in a wheel
where everyone steals
but when we rise it's like strawberry fields

11. Wonderwall - Oasis

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now
and all the roads we have to walk are winding
and all the lights that lead us there are blinding
there are many things that I would like to say to you
but I don't know how
because maybe
you're gonna be the one that saves me
and after all
you're my wonderwall.

12. Try - Nelly Furtado

the more I learn the more I cry
as I say goodbye to the way of life
i thought I had designed for me

all of the moments that already passed
we'll try to go back and make them last
all of the things we want each other to be
we never will be
and that's wonderful, and that's life

13. What If God Was One Of Us - Sheryl Crow

What if god was one of us,
just a slob like one of us,
just a stranger on the bus trying to make his way home?

14. Ghost of You and Me - BBMak

Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships, lost at sea
Well one of them is mine
Raising my glass I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why the stars don't seem to guide me

15. From a Shell - Lisa Germano

But the world fell down with some people still around,

there is love, there is love to be found.

16. Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

And you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

17. the Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice

ohh, did I say that I loathe you?

did I say that I want to leave it all behind..

18. Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt

I am a dreamer but when I wake,

you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take.

and I love you, I swear that's true.

i cannot live without you.

goodbye my lover.

goodbye my friend.

you have been the one.

you have been the one for me.

19. Coffee & Cigarettes - Michlle Featherstone

I thought my problems would just dissipate

and all my pain would be in yesterday

20. Storm - Lifehouse

i know u didn't bring me out here to drown

so why am i ten feet under and upside down

barely surviving has become my purpose

cause i'm so used to living underneath the surface.

21. Ordinary People - John Legend

i know I misbehaved,

and you've made your mistakes,

and we both still got room left to grow.

and though love sometimes hurts,

i still put you first,

and we'll make this thing work,

but I think we should take it slow.

22. Dark Blue - Jacks Mannequin

23. Till I Get Over You - Michelle Branch

you just bring me down

so I'm counting the tears

till I get over you.

my list could go on, but since im damn bumped out, i shall stop at this point. songs affects us in many ways. it accompany us through our mood swings, affect our performance level, aide us to recovery and reminds us of someone special in our life (lets not get emo here). whatever the situation it maybe, songs plays an important part to an individual, a chance for him/her to distinguish them self from this concrete mass of people. as for me, some songs holds a special meaning that marks significant events. my taste for songs are eclectic; i listen and pay close attention more to the words/lyrics.

rehearsals for NDP are draining up my energy level, despite the fact that i brought a bottle of Ribena. but wearing that no.1 uniform is all that matters.

i need to catch up with my friends. dinner guys? i find ssgt h.moustache darn fucking irritating. haha

eh, are you still with me?

SILENTLY CARES

2006-06-15T00:56:00.000+08:00

i cant really explain why im such in a melancholy mood. the fact that im not the party that is being affected directly. for those who are reading this, pardon for its ambiguous nature.

we forged friendship not too long ago, stumbled upon each other under common identities. i felt the connection between us. i hope the person did too. cause its this invinsible concern that made me type out this story. i really thought that we could be more than just friends. you weren't that good looking nor ugly. just a simple person whom i can just sit beside with candidly talk bout our experiences. naturally, you are who you are and i respect that. i cant hold back my emotions. i have to go on. i wished that we could meet, have that lonely walk down the beach, laughing at each others joke, smile as we see each other's smile. it would really be wonderful, a wonderful dream it turned out to be. i still remember how we came across into each others life, u had a problem. i was there to console you.but we ended up talking as though we were primary sch friends; naive and innocent. now that you have a problem, i tried to help u out, but u seemed to ignore it. i know where u are coming from, i dont like players either. so if u sense that i was there to play u out by being a listener to ur problem, then you just made the wrong perception. fuck, im shedding a tear.

i just wanna be with you..

A COCONUT RENDEZVOUS

2006-06-12T01:52:00.000+08:00

it was a guns and coconut affair. three derailed kids embarked on a journey that would open their minds; and for one of them, never to drink froma coconut ever again. right

it was due long time ago. constant nagging from her royal highness lydia eventually materialised. all i can say is that, i blew off the surprise by saying three words after a phone call; see you later. gee, can anyone get anymore smarter than that? one, we reached there when the museum was closed, so we became suspicious thieves, trying to find an opening for us to enter. saw lydia at the chapel and asked her to open the back door. haha the show began.

the first words that came out from lydia was; i knew it. mission failed! haha anyway we, jaryl and i,were glad that she liked the cake and the presents. we hang around the museum, to bask in the historical feel and get closer to the lord at the chapel. though the chapel became our photoshoot setting. when all the admin work has been completed, we went to JB. no, not mlysia, but Johore Battery. we found out that jaryl doesn't have the picture boyfriend material. never bring lydia back there or any other batteries coz once she sees a huge, enormous gun, she will get kinky. VERY kinky. brrr. haha anyway, we head for changi village soon after. not to see shemales but to indulge in good food. coconuts! yes coconut, fleshy and refreshing fruits selling only at $2. we bought lotsa food and for a moment there i thought that i was a pig. we packed away nasi lemak, heard it was to die for, and head to the beach. for me it was a chance for me to cleanse my mind from the stupid coconut sex, jaryl and lydia engaged. sick people.

being with a bunch of faithful friends is truly a worthwhile experience. you will definitely know that they will be there when u need them.

oh before i forget, here is something that i want to share with u guys;

it ain't love if there ain't no gloves. go figure.

SURPRISE ME GOOD

2006-06-11T22:18:00.000+08:00

it was due 3 months ago.

i started searching lydia's gift on sat with skyy. hoping skyy would assist me in the world of proper women's accessory wear. he's kinda good at it. anyway, i had fun going out with him. updated me so much bout his life and relationship. finally, by the end of the day, i managed to get hold on three pieces of accessories, that would go well with lydia's style. by then at night, ive already came out with a rough plan on how to surprise her on mon.

on sunday, i was in bliss with my other three friends; jaryl, xinyi and mai. have i mentioned that we cabbed around singapore FOUR times? yes we did, and we felt like dumb rich bimbotic/himbotic arseholes that couldn't care less bout their money acceleratingly burning away. haha 1st cab was to Esplanade. ages since i stepped my mud-fied feet in there for any concerts. oh did i mentioned that mai had a good wake up call after bumping heads first when we were boarding the cab? ouch! oh mai, if ur reading this, ask ur sis to check whether there are bumps on ur heads. oh and check if ur still sane. thank you. yuhua-rv alumni concert was a blast. they played well, as usual. pieces they played were interesting. made me feel like joining a band. im so proud to be part of ms chan's band. well done guys. cam-whored after the concert and sadly we had to go back home straight as jaryl parents wanted him to do sentry duty in his home.haha so we cabbed back to jw! that was our 2nd ride. after dropping jaryl, we moved to JP to have our dinner, well as for me, lunch. suddenly i had the urge to go to Orchard to get me a new pair of slippers. so me n mai, the biggest cheebongs in the world, innocently took a cab. this will be cab no.3. let me tell u taxi drivers something, if u guys bloody hell don't know the particular place where ur passsengers want to go, pls fucking hell ask for direction, can?! and don't try to act and pretend that you know where it is cause its blooody obvious. phew glad that is off my chest. oh the taxi driver wanted to bring us to wheelock instead of heeren. wtf?! well u know mai and her obnoxious comments, told me that i could apply to be N.U.M ambassador. and she mentioned that i will be the first straight one. haha whatever la mai, even though it sounds like a good idea. right. before we were run out from exhaustion and tire, i managed to grab a new berms. i takes technic. night was drawing late and both of us had to go home. so we cabbed back to ur house, a better ride from the previous one. well at least the driver knows where he has to go.

at the end of the day, i managed to kill two birds wit one stone. shopping, out with my pals and buying lydia's gift. erm so that makes it 3 birds? right.

hope everything goes as plan tml.

GUARD'S DUTY

2006-06-10T01:06:00.000+08:00

last week i had the honour of doing guard duty on friday. it came to me as a shock bcos my records were clean; no statements at all. hmmm ouh well i still have to do it even though i know that id be wasting my free time on the island of tekong. suddenly, after much thought, i realised i was back on the island is because i didn't bring back my tent pins. grrr

what made my guard duty more interesting was the fact that i was paired with the most perplexing individual in platoon; mr Calixtus. brr i get shivers when i recalled his name. yah, i had the honour to do sentry duty with him. 4hrs of standing over at the ferry terminal. i thought that our activity wud be filled with silence between the two of us, but nah, we began chatting bout the most random issues that passes by our green-camo infiltrated young minds. we started talking bout our hobbies and it slowly materialised into a GP seminar that we have in jc. it felt kinda weird cause for once, we are not supposed to talk that much while we are on duty and secondly, i never knew how much i can talk bout a particular topic for quite awhile, 45 mins. i was always the quiet one in GP seminars. anyway, tonnes of issues were brought out by both of us, which gave each of us a better and wider perspective bout life. though Calixtus may have a weird and complex persona, he is actually alright.

3 days of my block leave has been taken up by Viper coy. i suddenly miss my bmt phase. erm more of the good memories pls. or a ration of good to bad%

24

2006-06-04T16:36:00.000+08:00

the green days.

just like what the above title suggest, im gg to talk bout the significance of the number 24. Passing out soon and theres alot of memories and friendships forged that ought to have a high regard to every recruit. be it positive, negative, it made us a better person.

came back this week straight away after one of the biggest event for most recruits; the 24 km route march. i survived with few abrasion in between my thighs. the worst one ive heard somes from my... buddy, shanghao! and the award for the most definitive and extra weird abrasion spot goes ALL out to him; for having abrasion down at his butt crack. ouch dude!

last week, i joined Ninja coy for their SITest. for those naive readers, it means SITuational tEST. ur needed to complete missions at the same time working hand in hand wit the most weirdest combo of people. my detail; India. had LOADS of good memories wit my fellow Ninja frens and my Pegasus buddy. we rawked.

side track to a fast growing disgusting phenomenon, happy people. last week i had to sit in front of a pair of twin gays. gross dude~! one of them was wearing a tee which depicts the Last Supper ala naked men! no comments.

invainweforged

listening to haziq's life story while getting bumped by jaryl while the three of us walking is such a unique thing for me. don't know how to explain it. maybe its just the common vibe that the three of us possess; best friends synergy. theres more to write but i hafta book in camp. havent write bout my college day experience yet.gotta get meself a new blogskin! grrr.

eh where are you?

the MEN's TOY

2006-05-21T13:56:00.000+08:00

who says you cant have fun when you are playin' safe?

*Disclaimer
the identity of the person involved holding the toy shall be kept a secret, for it may save him from social suicide. Amen.

setting; some high class bakery. customer walks towards the glass fridge to choose a cake.
aunty (worker): erm you want to try chocolate fuck (fudge)?
customer: (gave a stunned look) where?
*moral of the story: talk about great customer service.

for the past two weeks that i hadnt blogged, lots of activities and events happened to me, both good and bad. hmmm where shall we start first. i had a terrible flu outbreak and was hesitant to book in. my nostrils were flowing out liquid as rapid as the Three Gorge Dam in china. my mum didnt even allowed me to go to the doc. sheesh. anyway, i guess it may have develope from all the fun that i had at MI Carnival. saw couple of familiar faces. went to the Haunted House. props to the organizing team and esp to the GHOSTS involved in making the whole experience 'scary'. i think the ghost are under paid. wonder how much they earn?

oh well ive nothing to blog about more. till my next entry. hope it will be way better than this.
*fingers crossed.

LOOSEN UP MY SICK BUTTONS

2006-05-17T16:40:00.000+08:00

i swear i dont know why im addicted to this song.

im tired of getting sick. immortality!

JUMP WITH ME

2006-05-14T10:45:00.000+08:00

jump till you can't.

the collage award's day is coming soon. billions of sincere thanks goes out to my friends in pjc. for making my almost two years of forced education enjoyable, memorable and worth-while. was talking wit jaryl on the way back home regarding his experiment. haha. scary ain' t it jaryl? don't mess with the force ah. or they might go up ur house and threaten to burn ur house them. haha. anyway, we suddenly stumbled upon the topic of aids. u know, the disease. i think there is still a huge stigma carried by aids patients when they face the world. i know of someone who has aids. its tough for him, even to leave his home. society makes the world tough. or so they say. the main point is, there are some stuff that happen to us can either be controlled, prevented or ease off. the aids issue complies to the same concept. it can be controlled, prevented. but its tough for the aids patients to ease off themselves from the finger-pointing and accusation brought upon by the society. we can be mean and just impose genocide on them, like during hitler's regime. but we have this small yet powerful element that make us real humans; compassion.
i miss you.

the SOCIAL HERMIT

2006-05-14T10:19:00.000+08:00

this time i'm going to be so damn random with my blog entry intro. lets talk about green tea. green tea as u guys would know originated in japan and has been served as the main beverage since ur mum and my mum werent on earth yet, estimated for 5000 years ago. as globalisation sweeps our feets off, the whole world population are able to quench their thirst and enjoy the health benefits gained from comsuming green tea. somewhere in the internet, i stumbled upon an article that professes that consumers should not be blinded by the health benefits that are so called available in green tea itself. this happened when the u.s fda, rejected to label green tea as a health food. apparently they couldnt find enough scientific prove that it carried anti-oxidants, the main reason why most ppl drink it. erm u.s fda? what more prove do u want? look at ur ppl and compare them with the japanese. the japs are living longer than ur citizens. tsk tsk. its either they die from ur peace missions or due to unhealthy food consumption. survey done by an independent firm confirms that the culture of drinking green tea started out when there was a hype among health aficionados, claiming that after continual consumption of the tea, it could lower the risk of any men from contracting any cancerous diseases and reduces our chances of getting any heart related sickness. watever. the only bloody reason i prefer drinking green tea to any soft drink i because i believe its less harmful to my body. right. ok ok, who am i kidding. obviously i wanna keep myself healthy, so i drink them. as easy as that.

i had fun going out with the normal bunch of derailed kids; fana and phat. they are the most easiest bunch of frens to plan out an activity and do it. just a call and there they are, ready to put up their best clothes and go out. this week's mission, to watch Poseidon. ok so what most of the movie reviews gave it their slaughter, i think the movie was good. it wasnt as soapy as titanic. the movie started out with a shock. it zoomed right in the moment the cruise got struck by the massive tidal wave. generally, the plot was quite realistic, despite the fact that i cant imagine how the fuck the actors can retain their breath under pressure environment underwater for so long. being a kuku idiot, i breathe together with the actors to see how long i can last. as a swimmer, i myself am bewildered how they can survive. erm bionic lungs? and so fana caught me doing it and there the two of them started to make fun of it. haha p.s. eh we shall try it outside taka big fountain ah? right.

i have this love hate dilemma when it comes to hang overs. haha it makes you feel happy but at the same time dangerous to others. god bless to the person who invented booze! thank god skyy, u have a job. the best thing of all ur working at my favourite shop! hallelujah!

going back to camp. i fucking hope that this week of training wouldn't be as time consuming as the last. and bloody please, no four days of intense running. morning; run, night; run. bloody hell u want to train us to become long distance runner? right.

CANDLEBURN

2006-05-07T03:41:00.000+08:00

candleburn, between the sheets, never on Sunday

two things you can learn from the picture above;
- if you enjoy free booze, don't drink it too much.
- don't ever let your friends take pictures of you when ur sleeping on the floor.

there was a certain hype happening amongst my bunkmates. it was regarding bout their university andmission. hell i dont care bout mine. haha. everyone was bugging each other whether each of them had received a confirmation letter. i swear, i switched into oblivious mode. i here i am, being the kuku boy as always, did some research bout university courses, coz some of my bunkmates were complaining that they didnt get their ideal course. wth. so here is the result: TOP 10 MOST POPULAR COLLEGE MAJORS are;

-Business Administration and Management ,
-Computer Science ,
-Communication ,
-Psychology ,
-Elementary Education ,
-Biology ,
-Nursing ,
-Fine Arts ,
-English Language ,
-Political Science.

so there you go. lemme see if i can guess why undergrads chose the above majors. business admin are seriously for those who thinks of money 24/7! i mean, in their brain only flows green notes. sheesh. haha. i see some sense in doing business; young adults like us love shopping, so what better way to economically survive ourself from our obnoxious spending power den to curb it with our business admin n mgtment skills. next, computer science. sorry, but it just screams; GEEK! unless u want to be the next bill gates, then be my guess u scrawny-thick-framed-motionless-half-wit-kukus. next, communication. what the hell is that. something tells me that we need more graduands from this faculty to constantly upgrade our communication infrastructure. lets face it, we talk alot on our cellphones. right. or they behold the key to break communication barriers and bring forth prosperity and peace. so im expecting that we are able to talk to the easter island's statues soon huh and ask how the hell they get there. coming next is psychology. one word to describe it; cool. its study of the way humans and animals interact and respond to their environment. badak, this is ur true calling. go get it! Not so cool thing: you almost always have to go to school to do anything at all related to this line of work.u gotta work outdoors. anyway, you'll need an extra five to seven years of schooling and a Ph.D. or Psy.D. before u can smack ur patients with ur own dosage of reality check. next, elemenatry education. more pesky kindergarten teachers. grrr. i guess its a good course coz its the only way where u can ensure proper education is being impart. now teachers wont teach redundant stuff. hallelujah. next are biology and nursing. both relates to the body in some way. being a stepping stone for med school, a biology major can lead to a job in a growing field such as genetics, biotechnology, or medical research. wow. nursing on the other hand, includes playing the roles of comforter, educator, mediator, listener, problem-solver and therapist. Generally, nurses help people meet basic health needs, adapt to physical changes, recover from illness, and die with dignity. amen to them. next is fine arts. please, ive had enough of fine arts. haha u can be the next matisse? picasso? whatever. next, english language. You'll find English majors in countless types of jobs. Many of them are communications-based careers as you'd expect--author, reporter, journalist, editor, radio broadcaster, advertising and public relations executives. so hasinah koyakuti, timothy goh n clarence goh, buzz off coz there are new faces taking over you. not to mention most of them are straight (with reference to tim goh. oops). lastly, political science; the one and only cool course. seriously. if ur in it then ur bloody smart. haha right. i guess ur contending against P.M LHL in the next G.E? fat hope.

im dying soon, so pray for me.

because of you

2006-05-01T00:34:00.000+08:00

-because of you.
-i hope you wouldn't get the ~~wrong impression.~~

unlike the rest, you have made an impression on me. a lasting impression that is priceless. mature, sensible, deep. i enjoyed our moments. though i was slightly awkward. you don't react to me anymore. i miss the old you. i really hope it wouldn't drift apart. i felt safe listening to your voice. secured. whenever i listen to dishwalla, it reminds me of you. but i think im not good enough for you. or for others. i can just close my eyes and imagine you standing in front of me, smiling. the feeling; indescribable.

woke up today with a slight pain around my chest. hmmm getting sick again? for the first time in my two year record, i volunteered to go the market to run errands. im not so sure what has gotten into me, but i usually don't offer my services as a market-ier. insane. had a large breakfast wit my mum and we talked bout random stuff. hmmm mother-son bonding? maybe. haha. nice talking to her despite the fact that we always quarrel. love u mum. it was sunday. a perfect time to plan out a whole role of activity. who cares if it rains, as long as u get to meet up with your friends. nothing makes your day better den spending time with your frens. went to IMM with badak & skyy. we got new stuff for ourselves. the main attraction for the day, and every other day too, is skyy. having a married man smile at him and for 'buying' lotsa stuff. keep up the work skyy. right. left themhalfway to meet up with phat. supposedly, i was given the instruction to meet her by 20.30. it thought that i might be late. thank god i wasn't. hehe she was the one who was late. mission for that evening, track down bulu. so we went to Pizza Hut to see bulu in action. haha i pity her coz the environment that she works in doesn't suit her character. and in addition to that, pesky collegues, that sounds like a fucking mosquito. my condolences to bulu. can't complain. its call work for god sake. thanks for the free chicken wings.

he lets himself go like an angel in the snow. he lays down on his back. down on his back. he goes: tonight he'll give herself away. he'll break apart all by himself. its so easy how we come undone. take me over when I'm gone. take me over make me strong. take me over when I'm gone. will they burn for me.

sad saturday

2006-04-30T02:01:00.000+08:00

counting down the days.
i hope u don't get the ~~wrong impression.~~

dont we all wanna freeze time and take one step back? savour the sweet, wholesome, innocent, pure moments. where all we do is smile. smile to every action or given replies. heart melts due to exchange of voice. im sick of the cumbersome matter called love. the endless chase, the foolish feeling u get when u ponder if the other side cares for u the same way u adore them. it makes me want to step back. as back as i can. im just too hopeless.i like you.

i finally get to book out wit my bunkmates. the feeling is totally different. i think its called group synergy. i wasnt as happy as the rest of them who completed FC. the feeling that i felt was pure shit. listening to them as the recall moments from FC just wanna make me turn off. turn off from reality. kept blaming myself for allowing heat exhaustion to take place whenever they reminisce.~~fuck you dean.~~ not to sound loser-fied, im looking forward for the SITest. time to shine and prove your/our worth.

spend the whole evening out wit my frens. best frens. frens that worth not to be traded off. basically we get to catch up wit each other's life and lend a listening ear and giving advices to their problems. having frens at this part of ur life journey helps u to notice that ur not alone. u know that they will be the constant force behind you, motivating ur every move and step. thanks guys.

~~this week's entry sucks. gonna write a better one tml. damn tired.haha~~

2006-04-27T17:33:00.000+08:00

counting down the days.
hope you don't get the wrong impression.

im seriously in no mood to blog bout my fieldcamp experience. ok shouldn't be a loser. where shopuld i start. hmmm it was the third day of fieldcamp, we were having route march to our new camp site. before it started, we were barely given enough time to consume our breakfast. as for me i decided to get a less decent breakfast consumption. not to mentioned that we had a surprise exercise in the wee morning hour, followed by punishments for our slow movements. so where was i again? ah, route march. just as we ended route march, my body felt a certain surge of weakness. my head felt like it wanted to burst; the same feeling when Zeus gave birth to Athena through his forehead. my hands completely froze. my eyes kept looking upward, as though it was time for me to meet my Maker. i fell out of the platoon, thinking that i can rest for a while and hope the pain would sail away. no, it didnt. it persistently bugged me, and suddenly i feel unconscious on the gravel path. my frens claimed that i died. personally, i felt the same way too. was then thrown into the safety rover, where i got smacked by the medic twice as to help me regain my consciousness. thank god it did, coz if not, i wud sue him. so there i was, half naked in the medical centre with only my wet no. 4 pants on. medic told me that i suffered hyperventilation and heat exhaustion. wow. i was in shocked. such minor sounding medical classification could bring drastic results. the following day i was given 4 days of mc. this means ONLY one thing; i'm going to miss the rest of my fieldcamp. hopes shattered.

on a brighter note, im sitting now in front of my comp, eating my favourite biscuits while blogging. im trying to forget bout the the whole collapse incident. the only thing in my mind now is the fact that i may have to go for another fieldcamp during my block leave.

- the best is yet to be

bitter sweet moments.

2006-04-15T14:07:00.000+08:00

confessions of a pseudo nonchalant mind.

ok im going to be confined once again.
not due to any wrong doings or what,
but for fieldcamp, fc.
sounds interesting right?
very indiana jones.
test you on how independent you are.
oh well, personally, i think fc
should be enthralling,
not in an overwhelming way.
imagine yourself being stuck
in a jungle. 360 degree,
full panoramic green cascade.
you wont get to bathe. haha
im still pondering how the hell
im gg to do business in the jungle.
oh well just squat dean.
how come they are not allowing us
to book out the day before fc?
grr. angst aside, let optimism flow in.
still cant believe that im in grp A
for running. so surreal.
the wonders of pushing urself hard.

had a great time with
bulu and phat on friday.
phat was on a shopping frenzy.
tsk tsk tsk.
fish & co. really put a huge smile on me.
haha sound like an impoverished kid.
on saturday, the unexpected happened.
well, we planned to go to mustafa centre,
dean, jaryl, sher and skyy,
but due to torrential rain,
the plan didnt materialise.
so our dear skyy came to me house
and begged me to go out.
so i did. off we went to mustafa centre.
got wat i wanted; a web cam.
hallelujah. got a call from ozie,
saying she wanted to bring us somewhere.
so our innocence lead us to orchard.
met wit amot, ozie & fairul.
their destination in mind; happy.
wtf? happy? the club?
not trying to be a party pooper,
i followed them anyway,
coz they kinda miss me n all.
omg. i swear i felt off.
totally awkward. i felt weird.
the worst thing of all they
took off my shirt and made me
dance w/o it around
so many bent boys!
if you were in my situation,
i bet u wud want to slit ur wrist.
or get out of the situation.
oh well at least none of the boys
wanted my number. phew
well i think so..
i love free booze!

i like you.

back to camp in 4 hrs.
fieldcamp will totally change me.
i really enjoyed the two days.
it felt like two weeks of fun.
thanks guys.

sunday

2006-04-09T10:39:00.000+08:00

confessions of a random mind.

say hello to the new Statement I/C.
yours truly.
what kind of crap job is that.
in case u non-NS knowleageble reader are
wondering, statments refers to the letter
of reflection cast upon by the sergeants
on recruits who have made an offence/offences.

the main reason why i love NS is
solely due to Route Marches.
as crazy as it may sound,
walking and singing at the same time
while u sweat a bucket full of excess water,
is really my cup of tea.
this week, we have two route marches,
both within the same distance; 4km
the first 4km route march really
had transformed me into a route march addict.
imagine this; it was raining heavily and
we were in our full battle order, FBO.
the fatigue that most of us had
we completely washed away by the
downpour. very momentus i must say.
plus the scene was damn nice.
lush greenery by the side,
and red jagged rock filled ground.
the enjoyment! albeit the bad weather.

i asked jaryl, the difference between;
love and infatuation.
the result that i got back from him
was totally uncanny. goosebumps
as i read his definition.
i think im gg through the phase of infatuation.
somehow i have mixed feelings regarding
being in infatuation-land.
it sucks, coz u really feel confused
bout the whole matter.
it rawks, coz it makes u feel in cloud nine,
whenever the person pops out to say hi.
- dangerously in love

thanks jaryl for the help.
can always count on you dude.

good friday is coming soon.
time to get together wit friends.

happiness may be elusive, but it sure isnt exclusive.
true happiness has a simple calling.
filled with love and goodness.
just be and live. a path deceptively
smooth waht logic profoundly clear.
happiness is about living better.
and living better is simply
living simpler.

2006-04-01T02:34:00.000+08:00

confessions of a cached soul.

im attached now.
my wife; the M16.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
Cause I saw the end before we'd begun.
Yes I saw you were blinded and

I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit
it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry,
I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

2006-03-25T12:14:00.000+08:00

confessions of a patriotic soul.

the SAF seven core values are;
loyalty to country,
leadership,
discipline,
professionalism,
fighting spirit,
ethics,
care for soldiers.

half-full water drink up!
all for one, one for all,
Viper 3 drink up!

2006-03-09T01:31:00.000+08:00

confessions of an obsured mind.

hours away before i make my journey,
my maiden voyage into menhood.
haha. sounds kinda stewpid.
oh well i bloody hell look forward
in making new friends and
gain precious experience.
pls no ghost sightings.
im at peace wit u guys. haha
dreading... but still as they say;
the best is yet to be.

once again i had a blast wit my pals.
went to back to pj to help out for
fun dance. didnt expect that much.
u know just stand there, up on stage,
and be the demo. haha
the whole thing went wild coz
we had the most dynamic group
of peeps up on stage HAVING FUN.
its call the fun dance for god sake.
secondly, we cooperated wit each other.
we worked as a team. lastly..
we were ourself! haha
different personalities converge
creating dynamism at its finest.
lala that sounded crappy but
ITS TRUE! special thanks to
LYDIA for dedicating a cheer
to me b4 i head for ns.
million of thanks to;
leedeeya, jaryl, mai, wei long,
yash, shaminah, natania,
aisyah, rachel, redzuan and
the guy who shoed up for the last show.
i swear, ive forgotten his name. sorry
brilliant brilliant bunch of people.
i swear, i over worked my muscles.
btw lydia, me aint diva.
i tell u, i look lika man. haha

Everything changes.
But beauty remains.
Something so tenderI can't explain.
Well I maybe dreaming.
But 'till I awake.
Can we make this dream last forever.
And I'll cherish all the love we share.

my journey halts here for the moment,
as i strive to serve the nation
in any manner im good in.
c u guys in three weeks time,
as my head succumbs to baldness.
haha. peace and God bless.

2006-03-08T01:44:00.000+08:00

confessions of a pseudo-exuberant soul.

I HAD FUN, HANDS DOWN.
it was the second 'canteen gang' outing.
initially it started out rocky,
but in the end we got to converge together.
with the presense of some of us
being fashionably late. apart from that,
the usual bitching and jokes
began to pour out like nothing could stop us.
we went out eating satays at Lau PaSat.
our take of alfresco dining?
nontheless, great food was served;
satay, sting rays, fried rice,
baby squids, fried noodles, oyster omelette.
basically food that will make someone fat.
haha i bet that was their underlying motif
before i head for NS. haha
i would like to thank the 'canteen gang'
for planning this last outing for me.
the dudettes; Fana, Phat n Zilah and
the dudes; Fadzil, Ethan n TsoonL.
To the dudettes, i will miss u guys la like hell.
forget to take picts ofu guys and paste it
in my locker, with the caption; MY girlfrens.
haha (hinting on Fana, u damn swey la)
To the dudes; cya guys in BMT
as we serve our nation together!
Fadz u r officially our pretty boy man! joking
hope we somehow get into the same coy man.
i sincerely hope tat we will meet up again.
oh forget, the next outing is when i book out!
wat the hell. Fish n Co. please!

tml im gg to go back sch for Orientation2.
my tag team 'Girlfren' will teach the
new set of students the Fun dance.
Sanjay shud be there man,
coz he aptly represents Bollywood.
haha. hail Sanjay!
Lydia! break a leg. lets blow them away!
haha

butterflies are multiplying rampantly
in my stomach, as i inche closer and closer
towards enlistments. tml will be the last day
for me to spend time with my other pals.
my honest feelings right now are;
anxious, skittish, overwhelmed and intent.

This ain't a movie no.
No fairy tale conclusion.
It gets more confusing everyday.
Sometimes it's heaven sent.
Then we head back to hell again.
We kiss then we make up on the way.
Maybe we'll live and learn.
Maybe we'll crash and burn.
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return.
Maybe we won't survive.
But maybe we'll grow.

sunday

2006-03-05T22:40:00.000+08:00

confessions of a capricious mind.

its sunday without me noticing at all.
time, esp days, have seemed to fly pass
fast. a new day emerges as i draw myself
closer and closer towards enlistment day.
im open to any possibilities,
keeping a positive mentality steady,
when im in army. a special thank you
to someone who has been advising me
about army. ok ok jaryl, all the
limelight will go to u! but bear with
the limelight coz it has to do some adjustments.
not used to big persona like u. juicy.
joking!

it was my last day of sws before
i step into the world of bushes, arms,
sweat and vulgarities.
i was abit disappointed. the practice
wasnt that much fun. we only went
through Comworks pieces.
but overall, i had fun laughing
in between playing, sharing jokes
wit yun rui and beiyi. just before
i board the taxi after band,
beiyi shouted from the
other side of the road;
I will miss you.
haha thanks! will miss u too.
thanks benjamin for the call.
dont worry i will come back for sws
even when im botak. and there is no
need for u to get me a cap. lol

id say that retail theraphy works
bloody well for me. nothing more
than a new piece of clothes in
my hands. smiles. thanks mum.
i fucking think that f.o.s is darn cool!
oh well, my last outing wit
the canteen gang is coming soon,
before i enter ns.
Jaryl good luck wit O2. u will do well
with or without the horoscope ok. =)
ur bubbly personality will carry u around
and impress ppl. have faith ok.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit -
it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be.

2006-03-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

confessions of an interrupted mind.

i think it just reflexs badly
bout your own character when
u have undermine anyone's potential.
i seriously dun know why the fuck,
z***** had to make that comment,
which include my name btw,
in a boisterous manner.
common' bitch, what have i done
to deserve this prejudicial treatment?!
u totally lack PROFESSIONALISM.
congrats lit students,
we PROVED her WRONG.

spent the evening at fana's place.
it was movie galore as we warm
the sofas, spending enless hours
sitting and munching on unhealthy
snacks and ice cream.
movies specially chose are;
dead poets society, seed of chucky, madagascar.
probably we wanted to cover
all type of genres.
i personally wished tat there wud
be more indie and art films.
not to mentioned we are
(well more like phat n me)
the meanest movie critique.
and fana herself is a sponge tat
blindly sucks in the sad part.
also the number one movie turn-off!
haha latter days is a touching movie.

gg for career fair? hmm maybe.

goodbye my lover,
goodbye my friend,
you have been the one,
you have been the one for me.

2006-03-03T00:02:00.000+08:00

confessions of a pseudo-blithe soul.

not sure bout u but there is something
darn off n strange bout the release of the As.
now dont you jump to the conclusion tat
i did badly fer the As. f*** you if u did.
set aside the drama crying queens and
the obnoxious top scorers, the atmosphere
was lack of, errrm positivity and humility.
yea i think so.

im still like lost in choossing which course
to choose in nus. i honestly hate this A level
thingy. we studied like hell for not excactly
two years and instantenously, one fateful day
we are summoned to make the biggest deal
for our future life.
"hi here's ur results. thank you and determine
your own future YOURSELF!"
ok ok it may sound to some tat i hate
responsibility and probably care less
bout my future den a lamb who wants
to know where is the next greener patch
of grass, what im sayin here is tat
as young individual, we should not be rushed
into making life time decision on our own.
we need guidance and MORE time. bleargh

i myself am in an abyss. still not
knowing which major to take in nus.
reading malay studies? econs? history?
but that means, my future carreer will
fall directly into teaching! NO!
okay the money is not tat bad though but...
u know.
im still determine to take architecture.
but this means i have to re-take to secure
a definite seat in there.
i just wanna be an architect.

its good to have frens ard during the release.
insecurities that u have will be gone.
u will feel at ease knowing tat u know
that they wun do those dispicable
sneak frm e back n ask bout result shit.
thnks guys for standing by my side;
before, during and after stressful periods.
btw god bless u all. gd luck to all pioneers.
*ps all A level students shud be given
bravery awards or accolades. im serious.
do u know what kinda shit they pull us through?
jc life have made a huge impact in my life. =)

was reading through the papers and

came across something darn freaky.

the horoscope is really damn crazy.

it said:

Make an effort to see how far

youve become in a mere year

or two. are you impressed?

you should be. even if the

results arent immediate,

you have had considerable progress.

WTF?! talk about uncanny coincidence!

omg i hate melvin! he thinks im like some kind
of gay hidding me secret. gee

aLEVEL

2006-03-01T00:53:00.000+08:00

confessions of a pseudo-confident soul

literally, im now hours before the results of my As is being
thrown into my face. can imagine the look of my ct, civic tutor,
as he pleasantly proclaim my bad results into my face. if he does,
im gonna take his meditation list and smack it right on his face.
cruel ei, but thats how life goes.

went back to school fer the final time before results, bitching
and have a last glimpse of thye campus. loads of memories carved
in my mind and heart. sadly most of which i truly want to cast aside.
but den again, why complain. all of the memories and experience
make who i am today; a more knowledgeble man.
my life wud not be the same if i hadnt enter the school.
the tracks reminds me of sweaty, well worth runs and relay heats;
the band room where diff ppl come tog to make music and bond;
the classrooms where students engage their mind and crack jokes
outta each other; the cafeteria, a typical school cum social zoo, good for
animal behavioural studies; the parade square where we sweat
early in the morning as we listen to mis-pronounced words by the principal;
the lecture theatre where we frantically find ways how to sleep in frnt of the
lecturers n not get caught sms-ing. Lastly; the Althing, hall. where i will step
my foot into the future, my future tat depends on my results.
be it tears of joy or happiness, jc has made a huge impact in my life.

thank you guys for being part of this wonderful journey. it was fucking worth every minute!

2006-02-27T21:30:00.000+08:00

confessions of an OVERSIZED soul. by Jaryl

dont we all want justice in the court order of life?
Sometimes it just irks me how certain imbeciles reign over others.
on the pyramid of social hierarchy, i fall in between the pariahs
and unknowns, yet i remain unfaltered. WHY? coz
its the spirit and those that feed my undying spirit.
sometimes i feel like a gentle snowflake floating,
to the tune of a requiem, a sad morbid tune
which yearns outmost attention. floating amidst the oblivion.
if only ... if only god would grant mo ONE wish.
a wish that NO OTHER would fathom.
a wish NO OTHER would appreciate.
a wish of ONE who is revived.
a wish of life...

the poem by jaryl really struck a chord in my mind, a feeling that only
few unfortunately face with..

confusion

2006-02-27T20:45:00.000+08:00

confessions of an interrupted mind

i swear i need to do a deep analysis bout myself.
some questioned have not been answered and it leaves
me in an unconfortable and vulnerable state.

the day started fine. didnt expect tht much though,
den it happened. a nice conversation feed our eagerness.
its as though blinded by the moment, in the name of innocence,
when it materialised right in front of my very own wide naive eye.
not the first, nor the last till i find the real answer.
felt a sense of passion that had longed to be comforted.
like flowing river, lives are converge in a split rush, and
praises cascaded as the the mouth knew its role.
locked into a position of comfort. not wanting to break but
it had to happen. awkwardness soon filled the air that was once
close. it hit me at once, i was a fool. or did it happen due to
human nature. felt so much in between yet locked inside the very
same mouth that professes company. back to the qn, am i an idiot?
hmm time will tell. left without a final act. did we or did we not?...
all i can say, i felt special for the moment. a moment that humbled me.

im gg to get a new blog skin frm leedeeya. hopefully b4 results are out. lol

2006-02-06T11:34:00.000+08:00

hey guys. its been ages since i update my blog.

lets kick of year 2006 wit a good start, cos i feel if something starts right,
everything ould just flow easy.

im bit lazy now to continue, so be back soon.

tuesday

2005-09-13T16:55:00.000+08:00

hey guys.. weeks pass by like seconds and seconds disappears in a blink of an eye. these days time shall be given priority as u guys should know, A s are coming and a slip might cause disaster. to ur future.. for the rest of ur life. i was disappointed with my O s and i would not let history repeat itself.

to all pj mates esp peeps of 04a05, i wish u guys the best of luck fer the upcoming prelim and the eventual dreaded A s. we have gone through thick and thin as a class and im proud of u guys. sharing my jc life with u guys truly add colour into my humble life.to the ex a01 students who have joined us in the beginning of 2005, u guys rawk in more ways than one. i was inspired to do a thank u list after reading lydia's blog. so here it goes..

Bulu: my bitching partner in class. haha can be super scary when she is hit by period. tag team partner during econs remedial. inflations my forte; fiscal policy is hers.. i think so. haha thanks fana fer the company these two years. ur corny jokes tak bleh kalah!

Phat: beloved class manager. haha ya right! kidding. she is super nice nad funny. we click just nice and when we combine powers, no one can beat our sarcasm! oh jgn henti henti tag eh! thanks phat! u make my days in peejay!

Fadzil: mr macho in the class. though i feel intimidated sometimes by his sheer machoism, he strikes as an open person. all i knoe that i can beat him fer swimming. haha kidding. keep on werking on ur guns ah?! cya in NS!

Zilah: my gp compadre! haha yeah we rawk fer gp! u know it well. all the talks we had is so damn enriching. she is someone whom i can talk openly bout some personal stuff. thnks zilah! u rule! woohoo!

i cant continue the list due to some unforseen circumstances.. lol continuation coming soon

sunday

2005-09-06T10:59:00.000+08:00

can someone like smack my face out of oblivion! brrrr

i have not been to sentosa since donkey years i think.. haha no suntan for me thanks. im too dark already. built sandcastle like some pathetic dumb kid on the beach. it looks lame but it somehow gave me a sense of tranquility and time fer me to reflect back. hmm im sounding more and more like an old desperate old man. hah. oh well i got 6th prize fer the lucky draw ( well at least i knoe that i have luck still up in me ass ) den went home due to the downpour. met jaryl, and thankew fer the lovely cheap free pens that u bestowed upon me. i will werk harder with those mystic pens. haha

hmmm prelim is around the corner. smack ur ass dean! u betta get ur goals this time. oh i need to jot down what to write in here coz my brain ain't werking well. boohoo

teachers day

2005-09-02T12:10:00.000+08:00

happy teachers day to all the past and present teachers who have somehow able to teach me. god blesss u guys.

oh jaryl lost his ez link card. haiyah how could u be so careless?! haha we make mistakes. we r only humans ( animal for the case of jaryl) after all. haha malay literature paper is coming closer! god im dying sooner or later. well back to study...

monday

2005-08-29T16:17:00.000+08:00

i look damn stewpid in with the schol tie on la! but wait a minute, i look stewpid always.

i had a blast at sws youth yesterday. finally theres a grp of peeps that i can talk to. talking bout sws, i knoe that some party are rather unhappy with my existance and entrance in the organization. hmmm their main concern; studies. all i can say is if had not thought bout my studies earlier, i would have join them earlier and basically dont care bout my studies la. Duh! i knoe the holly As are coming. tryin' to juggle here? thanks. i knoe that they are concern with my well being but dont i hve the overall choice?

Malay literature paper is coming and im getting hyped. dont know why though. woohoo!

oh some people think that hyenna is a kind of fish!? haha

oh fana if u need a sikat ( comb) to brush ur bulu, better get a bigger one. haha

friday

2005-08-26T13:10:00.000+08:00

mdm shafa rawks la! the best gp teacher since lee kuan yew became spores pm. ermm doesnt make any sense but its ok.

OMG nothing really happened today la. fer ince mr _ _ _ _ finally knoes how to give his morning assembly speeches straight to the point. geeez. why must it take fer him such a long time! Shit! this morning, we thought that hajis didnt come to school today coz theres no sight of his 'so doesnt match with his personality' car. haiz. now we had to class la ferk!

gg study later! ciao

thursday pt 2

2005-08-25T12:00:00.000+08:00

everyone of us are hypocrites. we are hypocritical in everything that we, well most of the time. hmmm sounds like a sweeping statement? maybe i shall elaborate on it. when we are feeling sad and someone just send u a funny sms, naturally u tend to reply with; haha, eventhough we dun laugh a single shit. so why do we do that? some leaders are hypocrites too. not only they repeat 5 times on a single point during hot scorching mornin assembly, they pretend to be concerned bout our studies. but behind their asses they want great achievement. what bout the simple fact tha not all of us are perfect? haven't they thought bout that?! _ _ _ u suck! go figure. back to the story bout being hypocrites, some of us practice it due to some personal reasons. either bcoz we fucking hate them or we just want to make a fool of others. pure evil or evil missused? figure out urself. or maybe to hide some of our darkest secret desire.. haha

today fer GP we were supposed to do a compre paper frm acjc bout homosexuality.. hmmm controversy. i like! but then the ever inefficient zapping auntie have not zap yet. haha wondered how kevin answered the qn. well its not a surprised that acj set such a compre on such controversial issue coz among them are fags and effemes. imagine they set in my school context, everione would fail esp in application question section.. haha

oh well life is still boring.i hope i get a confirm seat in sws youth.

oh gotta werk out how to change my life to the concept of;
'Dolce Vita' havent heard of it? go do research k!

thursday

2005-08-24T11:53:00.000+08:00

shout out to all peeps who likes to bully Fana, just play the alphabet game and u will be surprised! i mean REALLY surprised by her cleverness. haha Just give her the letter 'E' and she will say out etek instead of itik. in the ferst place its wrong coz u need to say sumting like elephant. fana, fana.

woohoo didnt go to school today. had to go to cmpb fer another efffeing check up. is there like something wrong wif me?! on top of that, i had to stay in a room full of mats and their ang kong, or tattoos. haha cool but awkward.

_ _ _ sucks! go figure. i wanna go hong kong and genting!

preety boy

2005-08-23T11:54:00.000+08:00

I swear that this whole shit 'pretty boy' phenomenon is getting outa hand!

Hajis was being lame today ( like when is he not lame dean? ) when he talked bout punchlines. Tha Hell?! he told us bout having to include punch-lines in our essays and then he literally point out to us his huge punch-hole thingy. Get a life sir!? p.s Please stop wearing ur see through shirts coz it scares the shit out of ur students esp when ur tits starts to point! urgh!

oh today, three alumnis talked to us bout their PAST experience of sitting fer the holly As.. one of the person is damn cute la. no name mentioned or motive revealed. its kinda lame having them to tell us all over gai that we have hope fer the exams. Come to think of it, when will hope ever run dry? this whole exms thing is reali getting onto my nerves esp when one of the teacher told me not to spoil his record of having 100 percent pass. like HELLO! i knoe. no one wants to do BADLY in the As arsehole! haha BOOTLICKER!

i swear that i will make myself look ugly this week so as to shut some peeps mouth.. haha like id rather be loking ugly la.. ok ok its a COMPLIMENT.. BUT not use to it. peace.

2005-08-22T16:42:00.001+08:00

Shit! fana now knows my darkest desire! haha.

Monday can be sum up by two words, Fucked up! sorry fer the use of profanities, but theres no word to describe the day. Fana and i made a comclusion the other day that as the day pass by, it feels like we are more looking forward to go home than staying in school.. i seriously dont knoe why she shared the same sentiments as me but i knoe my reason.. School is beauracratic shit. The head of the school is screwed everywhere lah! yhe teachers?! haiyah, also belonging in the same screwed up wagon! its bad enuf fer me to knoe that ive been doing badly in school, so they dont have to rub it in! arseholesss. haha evil personfies me every single word that i type. whats the use _ _ _ , u guys are gonna suffer! look at the students! bunch of idiotic lice picking nincompoops! THE SOCIETY MAKES THE WHOLE MATTERS WORSE!

hmm id better not be bothered. lemme wander around and get innocently lost in oblivious fer a moment before the Holly As arrive. haha

oh last nite i followed this particular person around me neighbourhood. haha scheming. dont get me wrong, im not a pervert! haha like i find the person looking thats all.. lol

before life takes its toll on me life, id better enjoy myself!

come back

2005-08-18T10:21:00.000+08:00

phew ages that i have not update my blog..

mixed emotions happened this past few weeks.
none that i can descibe vividly.

lets talk about choices. this topic came out fer the gp test paper.
choices should be practiced equally by all men.
there is no boundery or fences that dictates certain people from practising it.
something intagible, but deadly when it goes wrong.
Choices should not be taken fer granted,
or be manipulated for our selfish needs..
we are responsible for the choices that we make.
most importantly, its these choices that we considered back and forth
that will determine our future outcome,
either we cry for joy,
or cry out of sorrow.

about 70 days more to the holy As..
ferk off dean.. ur not wrking. haha

the end

2005-07-15T16:26:00.000+08:00

the darkness is pure, and perfect, defining
your dying with clear, adamant lines. perhaps
you are already late, your spirit slipped
into the night, leaving the pale midnight
of your body and the solid cross framing
its loneliness. you are so well stretched
ouy, nailed such precision
that the weight, of death scarcely shows.
they even provide
a resting block for your feet. only
your head hangs down, your locks falling
to he right, a final gesture of resignation.
youe eyes are closed to a world sunk
beneath the combined pressureof the halo
and mocked.

the desolation is complete, the absense
fully embodied. no lamenting disciples,
no curious or unbelieveing spectators.
no angels wait behind the black dark curtain.
the emptiness keeps pity out, and
swollows all doubts of your death.

... i wont be back for a long time....

sunday

2005-06-22T16:12:00.000+08:00

sunday was superb.. took part in Red Lion's Touch Rugby Carnival.
its been 5 years since i played rugby back.. i knoe u guys dun believe it..
thanks to eme, fana, nid, ziq, rajeev, marc, shahul n hajarah fer giving me the opportunity..
all ended well.. we got plate champions... woohoo!
oh must thank skyy fer being my part time coach the day before the match.. i was tough to practice 12 am u knoe.. lol

couple of daes left to mids.. werking harder.. lol

hpbdae

2005-06-14T17:33:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to you..

pain

2005-06-09T11:26:00.000+08:00

Pain, what is pain?
heartbroken, left by your soulmate
sympathy, as you watch the innocent get killed,
red, witnessing the blade glides across your wrist,
black, on your left eye,
teary, as words on the pages touches your heart,
lament, for al the sins that you have caused,
powerless, under the hands of the dictator,
agony, wounded by the tragedy,

Pain, what is pain?
a whole myriad of feelings
a pain for myself
is not the plight for others.

announcement;
farhana should take course in using hp earpiece. lol

count your blessings.

so blond, so stork, so vein

2005-06-06T16:22:00.000+08:00

[ ___________so blond, so stork, so rein.. ]

Its seems that this past few weeks, i reali dun feel like blogging.
it better for me to coop all me problems to myself...

[ _________ This is a tribute to myself.. ]

You are rejected
Nobody will swim you because you have no water.
I am the only person still with faith.
I sit there and watch the lights glisten
On your shiny silvery sides.
There are no echoing shouts
Rebounding around your walls anymore,
just the mournful whirr of the blood
Rushing around my head.
All the clocks have stopped,
their continuous turning mechanisms
have slowed down to a menacing halt.
The attendants do not wave or shout
or kick at you.
And all the diving boards have been barricaded.
Your usually wet and puddled sides
are now dry.
I am the whole survivor of your audience.

whoever the Unknown is ferk off!
go to www.getalife.com.utopia!
while stock last!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tribute

2005-06-01T13:44:00.000+08:00

this is a tribute to my animal fren..

you search your pillows
and scrutinise the sinkhole
accounting for the new strands
that have loosened at the roots
and fallen away.

You worry thinking what could have
caused this at your young age-
work stress?
your acne flare ups?
fat problems?
your poor church attendance?

You study the receding hairline
when I do not notice
( else I will snap at you again )
this is subtle penitence
I dare not breathe a word.

stay funkey..

long time

2005-05-30T13:39:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since ive blogged..

the events that took place these days

were damn cool and enjoyable..

hope to blog more in the future..

we honour heroes for different reasons
sometimes we find them daring,
other times due to their bravery,
or for their goodness.
But mostly, we honour heroes because
at one point in our life,
we all dreamed of getting rescued.
Of course if the dream does not came,
we might end up saving ourselves.

count your blessings...

social hierarchy

2005-05-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

Welcome to Pioneer Junior College. Where the brawns rule the brains...

first up, watever im going to say doesn't have anithing to do wif
sweet old vengence.

1) Sportsman
2) the Bold and the Beautiful
3) Gays and Lesbians
4) the Wannabes
5) Nerds

Sportmen in Pjc is the epitome of success in the social hierarchy.
they almost rule everione in skool.
of course not to mention, everiones subject of gossips, discussion.
CRAP!
Next comes in the Bold and the Beautiful.
it is soooo obvious that Pj students are shallow and superficial.
I myself can name some of them but for privacy sake, i shall spare them.
Come on Pioneers! wake up and smell the coffee!
Dun go around skewl lookin,g like some a**holes, drooling
over some brainless, good looking nincompoops!
trustme save ur saliva n enzymes to digest our ever tasteless canteen food.
Mostof these people are just empty up there.

On third place are the ever tencious friggies and bungs who tr

euphoria

2005-05-17T12:12:00.000+08:00

Euphoria where are you?

this is so unfair! skyy gets to go home eali,
badak is sleeping at home now and im stucked in skewl...
boohoo..

im now superly tired in skewl ah.. skewl has been taxing.
tutorials have been nudging me to madness.
plus mid year is coming..

hey at least theres band to sooth me unhappiness...

eveyone loves scandals
no matter how big or small;
loves it, witnesing it.
everyone likes to see
the downfall of the high and mighty.
eveyone loves to watch,
be amused,
mocks in the public,
the hyphocritical sinner.
If for some reason you are not enjoying it,
then too bad,
the next one might just entice you,
always around the corner.

thursdae

2005-05-12T18:15:00.002+08:00

OMG! i made myself look like a total fool todae!
i ate spaghetti using two forks! how ferking idiot is dat!
thanks phat n fana fer witnessing me embarassment.. haha

i just hope that tmls bbq wud turn out fun...
coz im sacrifising me time spend wif skyy n ozie fer it...

school sucks.. we know!!!

conquer thyself...

thursdae

2005-05-12T18:15:00.001+08:00

saturdae!

2005-05-10T12:53:00.000+08:00

woohoo! wat a week!

suddenly i felt a bit lonely when saturdae came by...
hahaha coz got no band prac. it seems that im too use
to the routine, going back home late till 9pm,
slogging ourselves wif fast food everi nite.
( i didnt grow fatter, did u badak?)... haha kidding.
ahh1 i have concentrate back wif my study....

or should i?

haha had the greatest time of me life on Sat.
due to a turn of event, i did sumting that i had mised...
CLUBBING!
Thanks to the ever creative and
super happy juice fren of mine, skyy
we went somewhere that i cudnt imagine!
woohoo wun tel u wich club we went to but
we brought down the house.. errr i mean club!

hahaha last but not least i finally went to WestCoast Park!
Macd over there is damn bloody, darah neraka, cool! ( what an irony! )
niwae thanks to Mais, Badak n Skyy fer initiating the idea!
so gonna go back there tis week...

hahaha to end of, here is an announcement,
to all happy private limited enthusiat..

Dean Matthew Kieran has officially accepted the
new title of Happy Model.
While Skyy Reshawn Dante has been cordially
upgraded to H.R.M Happy Day Juice.
and last but not least, Badak will forever remain as Badak..

everybody: Hail Happy pvt ltd!

-end of announcement-

p.s we will find for him a post.. lol

SYF!

2005-05-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

Singapore Youth Central Band Judging Competition 2005.

Wah! after a month worth of sweat, toil and pain, we made it!

A Big congrats to all PJCSB members who have put their
heart and sole in music making. To those who have helped
the band in one way or another! Alumni members fer ur support
MS CHAN! Arigato!!!

to all jc bandmates whom i knoe, best wishes.. jiayou =J

its like a dream come true! Jaryl n me cudnt believe the result!

Next up, Band number 6, Pionner Junior College,
under the baton of Ms Chan Peck Suan. Thay will be playing
the set piece followed by their choice piece,Banja Luka,
by Jan de Haan.

Argh! i was reali damn nervous lah!
i was reali shakey lol i mean nervous.
notes cumin out frm the horn got vibrato feel to it..
lol

by the time i played the Banja Luka solo, i was fine..
thank god.. in my mind, i wanna do the best for the skewl, band.
frens and myself..lol

waiting fer the results was reali nerve recking and heart pounding!
surrounding me, jaryl n yurong was students of njc, rjc, srjc n vjc!
oh i met some of my bandfest hon section member.

<announcer: >

Pioneer junior College.........
GOLD!

Yes people, we got Gold! yeah! felt sori fer ACJC.
Congrats to MJC n CJC! mediocre band can just do as well as other top bands..

thank u my frens fer cumin down to witness our triumphant fight for glory!
maizura, fagrulz,skyy, jufri, syikin and those who followed them! =J tankz

let us not stop here.. work on harder guys..
ahh sad... no more band . back to studies.

prewednesdae

2005-04-26T21:40:00.000+08:00

i choose to do only one thing. that is to adopt to the normal
way of life. i reali dun want to react to the comments given from
other peeps. once a friend alwaes a friend of mine. i never adopt
an unsincere method of concern onto other frens. i dun
segregate my attention from my other friends.. oh the reason why i
usual stick myself beside this gerl is bcoz she can listen out to me prob
.... not deem fer revenge. i cud just keep the prob to myself but i knoe i will resort to
harsher self inflict torture. Yes i do miss the outings but that is how the situation is.
there is like some kind of barrier that just makes me feel uneasy...
if u guys see me not talking to u like 'frequently',
it doesnt mean that i have changed or ignored u,
but i wud take the liberty to accommodate wif e situation that my frens facing.
sometimes, its just hard for me to continue wif the routine coz frm the facial
expression, there is just something that has not been justified. so where does
mutual understanding comes in? hmm lets ponder together...
i just hope despite the rocky road som of us go thru, we, as a band,
will stick tog and werk hard fer SYF..

i reali dun feel like going for band animore.
dun get me wrong. its not due to the current goring situation, its just that it affects my studies.
i dun have much time left for my test... i knoe i knoe its not a valid reason but i reali
want to do well. press on dean..

8 MORE DAYS to SYF! Woohoo

PJCSB will rawk MJCSB's socks, shirts, pants and undergarments off!
YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dun hate us coz u aint us..

Let life parish itself not by thyself.
we are only human afterall.
never ever say that life is broken,
lay your head across my shoulder,
I'll set you free. I will be your security.

miondau

2005-04-25T15:54:00.000+08:00

what makes this world go round
when will the window bring him down
he is so sweet and young
and his life has just begun.
all he sees is hurt and pain
and he wants to make a change
will he make it through the way
a long ardous path.
part of me laugh, part of me cries
part of me wants to question why,
one day im here
next day you are gone
no matter what we must go
just keep the faith and
let the light lead the way.

sori peeps. long time since i blogged. got no time
due to the upcoming syf.. almost ten days more and
the 6 times band practice per week has started.
last week already i got cold due to the practices.
hahaha must pop some vit pills.. or maybe more
paracetamol..

SYF is drawing closer and closer. PJCSB will be more than ready.

one should forego wif others pain. dun let others around
u be affected wif wat u r challenged.
just remember that theres alwaes someone to guide u at the
end of the rocky road. new faces is not the reason why one shone
from the norm nor deepened hatred that repells one attention.
it just life.

Let the Light from the Lord
shine away your worries.
for he is always around you.

Saturday

2005-04-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

Thank the Lord for Saturday's great experince..
rite bro?? lol

lazed around in the morning.. but realised i had to do the Sweaters..
so i dragged my sloth like body to the phone and called my
shopping partner in crime; Skyy..
who else rite? badak is sooooo slow n malas..
hahah kidding.. i knoe badak got some commitment to attend to..

we met at 12 with two agendas;
1) settle the sweater
2)Cut skyy's lush folicles..

off we went to Queensway. on the wae met skyy's metro
neighbour, mamat! freaky! buti like his dress sense..
settled the sweater wif a diff uncle n promised a gr8 result..
i hope so too..
strolled arnd there like two gundus, waitin fer badak to call..
we decided that we r gg to Ikea!! woohoo!
we had a blast in Ikea lookin potential furniture fer
the bachelor pad fer d three of us.. lol
maybe kylie n haylie can stay at the unit below.. lol
love the swedish hotdog.. hahaha

watever bout the hotdog, we at last went to ghim moh
to cut skyy's crowning glory..
but then thwe particular hairdresser wusnt there..
had to go to his new plc'
bside Tango Tango and Wala-wala..
ahahahahahahahaha..
Onli certain ppl wud know rite bro?!
thank god i knw where is Lor Mambong..
thak god skyy was wif me.. if not entah mane he go to..

Last destination.. Skyy's heaven... slopped at his
place fer a Long time b4 gg home..
coz had to help him change his blogskin..
oh welcome to the Blog family bro!

overall Saturdae was a Blast!
felt way better then Friday! =J

friday

2005-04-15T21:28:00.000+08:00

this is a shout out to all afeminate men around me,
existing side by side with idiotic men!

i just dun understand why they have to put up with
these bunch of losers!
commo0n guys, uttanga una vita!
lemme guess, to be in your elite grp,
one must master a sport rite?
talk in a stylised manner?
guess what??? i dun give a vaffunculo to ur
stewpid nonsense scheme!
u guys dun rule my life! assholes!
and i dun owe u nincompoop any crap!
for ur info i swim better then u idiots!
if u got those jewels called manhood show it ah!
i will swim till u drown!
ciao embetant vaffuncule..

Run run run
run away my child
embark on the journey
worth more than freedom.
Run towards me
and I will promise you
something worth more than
what you ever dream off.
Run run run
and show them that
you can do it.
That you are not just
an ordinary audience
kill that oblivious goliath
Really shine out
and run towards
greater significance.

band today sucks.
dun gt me wrong but it didn't turn out
to be the usual scene.
i sense that people think tat im a loanshark.
am i one? common lah, i was doing my job.
if u think dat im harsh with the way i do,
then, dun just jump to a conclusion...
ask! wats the mouth for.
i was pissed on how badly and wrongly spreaded
by the hardworkin treasurer.. i did clearly say to
bring the money on Friday.
im was not angry at those who didn't bring the money...
haiyah..watever peeps.
i just had to make up a crappy reason to slip away frm
the mac grp.

Cant live with this any longer.
how to wrk hard wen we r separated??
wrk harder horn section! i have faith in u guys.
Thanks skyy.

thursday

2005-04-14T12:06:00.000+08:00

i forsee that today i going to be a busy day..

well i think its going to be true..
firstly i have to go through the pain of Hajis class,
eh but then he is quite funny today leh.
the whole klas broke into laughter when he tried to impersonate
the facial expression of a witch.
p.s hajis, good effort but seriously ur wierd enuf! get a life.

after college todayim gonna meet skyy to settle with the
band sweater! hallejah at last we are going to have sumting nice
associated wif the band .. haha no comments bout the orange tee.
either. lol =X
Itsgoing to be nicer than the Hockers'... yup
and if the hockers dare to question us why we make a sweater,
i will tell them this ;

wen kai: hey, why did u guys copy our idea?!
dean: well mr no brainer, no one would expect a bunch of hockers
wearing sweater in the middle of the pitch while playing in d
hot weather rite?
wen kai: ( looking dumbfounded) ....
dean: LOSER!

Oh no disrespect to wen kai but the reason why i used his name was
bcoz he is the cap. peace man...

less than 2 weeks to SYF!
We can do it horn section! oh juz stop laughing unneccessarily..
haha
badak! get well soon lah!

monday

2005-04-13T13:25:00.000+08:00

u know wat, im not going to change tis skin!
i simply love it!

Firstly congrats to all the bandmates of the Westwood Concert Band
for once again attained the Silver award in the SYF competition.
Yup, i was there to witness their triumphant moment and blunders.
all that i can say is that, they cud have done better.. nevertheless,
thay put up a good performance. Kudos to the horn section,
esp the sec 3 members.. train more ya?
i hope that u guys will continue to aspire even higher goals and
continuously work hard! = J

i was in Singapore Conference Hall ( SCH ) till 6.30..
meet a couple of familiar faces ; roseanne and mr sim!
he had put LOAD of weight. if he continues to do so, he can enter
Jaryl's over-cellulite club. haha jokin!
wanted to say hello but paiseh.. lol
i wanted to stay back to hear the results wif
skyy, christine, syikin, farhana, susu, golden monkey n ms marzuki,
but i was late fer rjcsb concert...
rushed there n met wif the other bandmates.
Well done to the RJCSB bandmates for successfully
enthralling the audience. indeed they made their stand last Monday
as the Giants of the JC Band scene in Spore.
Great job Tze Hao!

oh jeff where were u?

tuesday i had to go skewl all alone.. boohoo
even today.. boohoohoohoo
haha at least im lookin forward of band today..

21 days to JC SYF! gud luck horn section! haha

hai!

2005-04-07T09:39:00.000+08:00

haha! i know that some friends of mine want me to change my blogskin,
so i will!

i really feel good bout PJCSB. i can see that we can we hard to achieve our dreams.
Banja Luka in my opinion is a nice song. Very avant guard and cool.. haha oh aniwae thaers a small solo for me, so im generally happi! haha (selfish me)

Common test is over and i have buck up. at the same tyme concerntrate on SYF.
Time is precious so i must not waste it. think that im gong to stay back in school as often as i can. at least theres Badak who can accompany me back home! SPARTA TA TA TA Im Lovin It!

im fellin the pressure!

3 weeks to go before JC SYF!

Sunday Morning!

2005-04-02T16:04:00.000+08:00

wah!

OCS! FUN FUN FUN!

Fana is pesky! lol haha i got the poncho! u neva!

ah im tired!

2005-04-01T13:42:00.000+08:00

oh hello jeff!

i know ur reading tis!

hope u r ok!

the horn section is in good hands.. erhm erhm

keep in touch yah?!

hahaha

2005-04-01T13:37:00.000+08:00

wahaha

friday at last!

fana selenge!
sama-sama mengejar bintang!

phat memang kool!

dean power!

fana... erm selenge!

fana... ermm masih selenge!

band starts in about 3 hours!

sama-sama mengejar mimpi, sama-sama woohoo!

fana tis goes out to u!

indah sungguh panorama!

comm'on sing wif me!

lol

fridae activity.

2005-04-01T12:46:00.000+08:00

inspired by the acjc band, im looking to work hard for the upcoming SYF!
haha btw, acjc band did quite a good job on wed! woohoo!

Band on friday was kind great! loads of the j1s came! for once we had
17 clarinets altogether! yahoo!
although yurong is unable to attend band animore,
im still happi wif my horn section! so far these are remaining survivors;

1) GuangLiang
2) Marilyn
3) this dude from Hong Kah band.. haven get to know of his name. lol

future looks bright for the horn section! and esp the PJCSB!
i was extremely pleased to see Jeff n friday.. missed him.
for once the horn section came back alive once again.
oh michelle from rv commented to me that i got nice tone.
haha thank. =J

after band, the usual clique went to Lot 1 to eat as usual.
Hanz was pissed of at sumone. Cool yah. the person shud
not say negative comment about the band esp now,
wen we r preparing for SYF. Instead the person encourage us more..

Banja Luka here i come!

Cant wait to go for the OCS Commisioning Parade tml.

haha

2005-03-29T12:11:00.000+08:00

Argh! im still pissed wif that
old mandul hajis!!!!

hey at least im gonna get a new bag! yeah!
thanks skyy! good choice dude!

cant wait fer band tml!
must get at least 2 more horn junior!
wahaha.

OMG!

2005-03-28T23:54:00.000+08:00

Juz finished common test,
and i feel rather rather ok ah..
im just glad that its over and
i can make up for lost time..
hallelujah!

haha

skewl started ok..
badak's my junior! lol
haiyah have to bear with his
chocolate face for one year! haha
yummi!

results are out and
it was atrocious! lol
had expected it though..
but didn't expect the shouting,
reprimanding,
sarcasm,
sharp tongue comments by the tutors..
eat shit la tutors!

haha wat bad attitude i have towards
tutors.. to hell wif it.
my last wish i hope that
hajis aka najis wud die..
muahahahaha.

i wun give up on malay A

Bdae party

2005-03-13T23:18:00.000+08:00

Wah!!! So hectic!

lemme see if i can do this aite..
im going to cramp four daes of events
into ONE entry.. woohoo!

Thurday-
haha anticipated fer the NUS band concert..
wanted to support kaili!
meet winno and di hui..
i sat tog wif winno and di hui and
left mais and skyy sitting tog wif
norman and his fren, hmm dominic.
wahaha isnt revenge sweet?! haha
im sori if any of the party was offended..
fell totalli in loved wif Tempered Steel! woo!
went home abit late but
not a reason fer me not to skip stdying GP!

Friday-
haiyah dun talk about GP la..
feel like jumping down frm
the Oriental and land onto Esplanade..
aft the cca talk, tha usual bandmates
wif jason n jasper, went to town
after much deliberation..
didnt get to eat my yoshinoya..lol
the rest of the grp excluding me n hanz
went home.. coz we didnt wan to catch movie..
budjet la!
haha hanz followed me to penin plaza.
thnk dood fer accompanying me =J
Went home and slack!

Saturday-
Hectic start, but got to chill at jasen's party..
me, hanz n clement meet up at tanah merah mrt
at 3pm or so..
toopid clement forced me into wimming.. paiseh lor..
thk god im as gud as clement in swinmming haha
got competitor!
jasen booked this huge place, gr8 amenities but ulu la
haha
i reali had super duper fun!
hapi bdae jasen! = j

Sunday-
Slack!
Slack!
Slack!
hahaha
met uf wif skyy n badak!
yeah we got reunited frm
like 2 wks of solitude lead by badak..
i tnk he wans to get enlightenment.. but
NEVER!
haha. i knw wats the real reason ah..
went tiong bahru plaza. been ages since i went ther..
look at the name.. so ulu oso lor!
hahaha

pheew! mission accomplished! dean out!

2005-03-08T13:06:00.000+08:00

hello.

dean is so handsome todae whahahaha!
our veri own taufik batisah!
Quick gals, grab the form!
He has his own fanclub
www.Dean-saifuddin.net
p/s-*if u can't enter,u r not a member!

Thanks Dean for making my day everyday
Always arguing and all
really make me smile!
sacarstic but nice!!
Luv yA and miss ya too!
From AyUNi
To handsome DeaN Matthew KieraN

Kita serupa

2005-03-06T12:37:00.000+08:00

Kita Serupa.. lol

tats true, we are the same kan bulu adn mozilla? lol

aniwae Fridaes band outin was fun..
but theres something missing..
but t still rawked my socks off! haha
oouh jason ur dat shiny tiny magingy gizmos
were damn cool la.. haha
PJCSB Rawks!

hey went back wwcb alone..
felt bit weird but got the hang of it..
went home straight aft dat.. damn tired la
missed da whole gang..
ouh do i reali look like a typical jc boi?
coz apparently mr wong told mai dat
his conductor fren had suspected ma as a jc stdnt.
no shit! lol

hahaha White Noise rawked! woohoo..
anyone reading this, shud watch it!
it brought me n the skyy to the edge of our seat!
oh the skyy i pity u fer sitting net to the
weirdo man that cried halfwae drg
spine chilling movie.. lol

hah mondae is drawing near
and some how i dun feel gd bout gg skewl..
ah fark.. oh bye bye ayuni..
have a good tyme at ngee ann poly..

i love my life and im proud of it.

BYE BYE MY FRIEND..

2005-03-04T13:35:00.000+08:00

BYE BYE MY FRIEND..

to Nini

Time and distance
are unimportant between friends.
When a friend is in your heart,
they remain there forever.
Though u might not be still with us,
deep in our hearts,
u will still be with us..

haiah so sad that now ayuni has left the college...
noone fer me to find fault wif.. haha yup u heard it i will miss ayuni..

hey at least theres band later on.. oh shit have go back to wwss and take the horn..

hey i finalli went to hajis klass.. haha tak rasa kekok.. lol
he rawked my socks off.. woohoo

hey badak cant wait fer ya to be a pionner!.. haha

skyy stay strong yah.. everithing happens fer a reason..

sher n naz stay pesky..

oh b4 i end.. bulu's papaddam didnt flew off when she bought briyani set..
wahahahahahaha

Dead or Alive?

2005-03-02T09:49:00.000+08:00

Dead or Alive?

Shit u la koh fer calling my parent! Fark u!

now mom threathens my existence in pj! argh y muz life be hard on me?!

hate u koh!

can't keep on being angry too....

aniwae thanks wwcb fer allowing me to be a part of the whole xchange ystdae.. on behalf of the superseniors; u guyz rawked and continue to rawk k..
oh i find the st hilda gerls quite pesky.. haha but i lyke the attention.
HOR SECTION RAWKED!!!!!!
it wuz full of fun fun fun! hope wong is happi wif the band standard.. =J

OH Ayuni, Badak is joining PJC. happi eh kau..lol

After the tiring xchange, sumting unwanted popped out; sher n the skyy started to bicker..
i can' take tis any longer.. why cant we just accept each othEr like We usualli do.. haiz i can't help them two either. i hope we can still be frens again..

Do not protect yourself by a fence,

but rather by your friends.

Someone stab me here!

2005-02-28T22:38:00.000+08:00

Someone stab me now!

Sundae outing was damn cool.
SAF Central Band was cool. gd job soonbeng, selamat and the perc gerl who shouted. ( power! )
Tanx guys fer the gr8 outing..
Sori badak and the skyy. cant go fer ur library trip.. next time ah dudes..

haha at last i came fer malay klas on mon.. after much negotiation wif me evil side, i marched ma wae to the malay klass. i tink hajis shud b glad that i came fer his lessons.. lol kiddin.
oh fyi tera i bought toto liao.. haha auspicious giler kan?..

oh mommy is better now.. maebe she popped in some goddamn pills at last..

I've always loved my dark life. its where i belong; in solitude.

band!

2005-02-28T10:04:00.000+08:00

I LOVE BAND!
Hahaha dun worri, im not a band fanatic.. juz an avid band supporter..

Fridaes band is so cool. oops no tyme to cont.. got econs now..

band band band

2005-02-26T21:18:00.000+08:00

Band Band Band..

woohoo.. wat a gr8 tyme i had last sat. tanx guys fer brightening up my life with yer quirky jokes..lol oh even though the horn section got onli 3 of us, me, marilyn and kaili ( tanx fer coming down ), we still rawked! went dinner wif d usual peeps, made fwens wif jasen.. but the most happening moment was wen we took photos wif each others.. haha full of funky, weird and nice pix we took.. felt that we were a bunch of dynamic grp of bandmates! Yeah!

SYF Gold!.. haha

People grow through experience

if they meet life honestly and courageously.

This is how character is built.

I cant wait fer sundaes SAF central band concert.. hope dat it wud b fun fun fun..

Going back to wwss is neva boring, though the toopid OM sumtimes spoil our mood. wwcb sounded decently nice today.. tink that they are ready fer tuesdaes xchange prog! p.s to the skyy and sher pls stop bickering.. learn to understand each other ok! =J

Invictus

2005-02-22T10:25:00.000+08:00

Invictus.

screw u mom fer makin my life even more worse.

Its not easy
to be someone
somebody
the one.
I can see thriugh your eyes
the reflection of sadness
remorse
hatred
as you run down the corridor of
life.
I can see blood
dripping from your wrist.
Wires penetrates through your
skin.
Free your mind
Stay grounded
May the vultures
loom above you
but always guard
urself.
i love my dark life
dimly lit by a few
humble apprieciative
candles
that guide me through
a narrow leak dark tunnel
called
life.

Sunday Morning

2005-02-20T10:12:00.000+08:00

Sunday Morning.

at last someone going fer cjc cncrt? tankew mich =J

CJC Concert was a blast.. didn't imagine dat they cud put up a gd show. truly enjoyd myself.

love symphonic movement no.1 haha

horn rulz!

People like a challange, so value your own worth

and

make others want ur friendship.

Live like Ur Dying

2005-02-19T21:43:00.000+08:00

Live like Ur Dying.

yup, live like u dying.. enjoy everi single minute of ur life. dun waste it..

wwcb was ok. band betta buck up hor. met winnie!! yeahness

me, the skyy, mais and badak wif the company of winnie went to the jj love fiesta. got my hair sprayed in gold. funky. tanx winnie for the company.. i hope that u had as much fun as we did!

aft the fiesta, the three of us decided to watch movie. met up wif shakeid and ozie.. Hide and Seek was sucky. everione think twice b4 watching the show..

bumped wif chewyen n marzuki. we learn more of each other eveydae.. i kearneed that chewyen attracts pussies.. lol

oh went back home tired and exhausted.

anyone out there wanna go to the cjc cncert wif mua??

Malay A? Nah!

2005-02-18T13:31:00.000+08:00

Malay A? Nah!

i knoe if badak reads tis he wud get angry.. but who cares haha. skipped malay and stoned myself in the library blogging. oh tera is here.. xtra onli lol.. malas to go fer malay A klass. dun knoe y but i juz dread it..

ayuni neva cum 2dae.. aman dunia lol. kiddin

gud luck zila fer ur match agnst rjc and errr 4get the other one.. haha

passed my econs test! yes! big achievement. haha.

sori tze how, can't come fer ur cncrt. chill..

band in abt 3hrs time.. yeah!

Faith has nothing to do with things that are not seen, and hope, with things that are not in hand. -St Thomas

Post Flight of the Papaddam

2005-02-17T19:45:00.000+08:00

Post Flight of the Papaddam

i think by now bulu got 'flyawaypapaddam'-phobia.. haha

Yesterday skipped sectional n went macs n treat the j1s.. haha lotsa fun..until en we saw mdm wong on the way back. stopped us and went back to school.. all i can sae is that im a gr8 liar.

one samaritian told me a controversy me.. can't tell it but u bet it was a great shock to me. i didn't expect the person whom this samaritian labelled as to be... my lips are sealed.

haha went back home strait aft band. wanna see the skyy for the bag but suddenly malas. oh gotta see tze how fer the rjc tixz. trying to be a gd leader..

Perserverance is not a lon race ; it is many short races one after another.

Flight of the Papaddam.

2005-02-16T13:57:00.000+08:00

Lol poor bulu, neva get to eat her papaddam wif her briyani..
all she cud do is to gaze at the liberated papaddam flyng away to its new found paradise; on the teachers' table.. haha had a gud laugh though.
Oh on behalf of bulu; Screw u idiotic j1 fer laughing at ma fren's loss..

Ethan was abit weird yesterday. Not his usual irritating self..
At last! Band prac.. sumting to look forward to. Two test in a dae? bad idea. Gonna farkin screw my History sbq, at least i have some confidence for Econs..

let us strive for perfection,

let our school be the best,

as we honour our nation and honour our crest..

wat a shock! Saw tiong poh and shu qin tgher.. ah! gonna tell cindy baey..
thank god they dun recognise me.

Oh how i envy badak and the skyy. neva go skewl! Pemalas..
Haha kidding..

modern history 101

2005-02-14T09:38:00.001+08:00

i was damn late for skwel todae. skipped skewl fer no reason.. cant keep tis any longer. Part of me says i gotta go skewl but the other says that i shud juz break way.

Yesterday wus quite fun actuali. did some stuff. tot tat the weekend gonna be a bore.
doodled wif ma horn den badak sms me.
wanna go gym?.
sure.
meet u den at 12.45.
Nah, cant gotta go out wif family.

hey at least i get to go to the UK funfair and have a blast.. haha nearly puked though.
went home and did last minute cramming of the 1848 Revolution. Farkin boring man. someone stab me here!